Duchess on Nostr: Matt, Engaging in these deep and candid conversations, with a stranger I suppose is ...
Matt,
Engaging in these deep and candid conversations, with a stranger I suppose is easier because there is no judgment - People often fear judgment from those they know. With strangers, there’s a sense of detachment. If I react negatively, you may feel that it doesn’t matter as much since you likely won’t encounter me in real life. A stranger can also off a fresh perspective with a different or unbiased viewpoint. I don’t have a vested interest in your life decisions, so my perspective may be more objective. Also when you share something personal with someone close can sometimes change the dynamics of the relationship, so there is a fear of consequences. Whereas with a stranger, there’s no ongoing relationship to risk. I can see that talking so openly with a stranger is refreshing as well because I’m listening without Agenda. Friends or family might have strong feelings or opinions about your life choices because those choices can affect them as well. A stranger might be more inclined to simply listen without trying to steer the conversation or outcome in a particular direction. And in that sense there might even be a therapeutic element to it. Sometimes the very act of verbalizing feelings and thoughts to another human being, even a stranger, can be healing. It’s a way of processing emotions and experiences. And the obvious one is that it reduces vulnerability. Oddly, while you might feel vulnerable sharing personal details, there’s also a reduced sense of vulnerability in the sense that if I react negatively or dismissively, it doesn’t have the same emotional weight as if a close friend or family member were to do so.
Being more introverted and leaning towards deeper connections with a smaller group of people is quite relatable for many. There's something comforting in sharing life's intricacies in intimate conversations with a small group of people that really know you. TBH I’m comfortable in most setting (large group or small group) I’m comfortable with most people (close friends and pass by friends). That being said I can see what you like in smaller settings 2-3 people even and I’m totally fine going from a big party chatting with many friends to then coming here and focusing on this one topic with one person, “like what's happening here.”
Your comment about being "all talk and no action" resonates with a lot of people. We sometimes need those talks to process our feelings, understand ourselves, and find a direction, only then we are able to take people’s action - so maybe it’s good we are talking so you then can take an action. But yes, the real change occurs when words turn into action.
It sounds like your time in the army had a significant impact on your life. I’m glad to hear the bitter, resentful, angry feelings are starting to fade. Remember, though, our past shapes us, but it doesn't define us. You are not alone in your skepticism or lack of trust in #FiatMoney! Most of us here on #Noster feel the EXACT SAME WAY, thankfully we have all found #Bitcoin 🙏. I myself went though an EXTREME depression when I started to understand how fucked up the whole system was with ALL FIT MONEY in EVERY COUNTRY - I was really feeling like there is no way out, thankfully when I finally understood what Bitcoin really is I felt alive again, I had hope for a better future, I had a reason to make plans. I’m sorry the army left a block mark on your soul and it hasn't been scrubbed away yet🙏. I don’t know exactly what happened to you there but I am sorry you had to experience whatever it is that you saw or felt there.
Why did you resent someone trying to help you recover? You still have physical pain from? 🥵 ugh if so I’m sorry I know that’s really not easy. Is there anyway to get disability from the Army?
Your current recognition of the need for internal discipline, and your awareness of the toxic relationship with exercise, are the first steps towards positive change. Genetics can actually modify with food and exercise, but you have to want this for yourself.
Try not to crumble from the weight of your regrets, there are people in jail that have crazy regrets, there are people in the middle of nowhere where that have crazy regrets, there are people in big cities that have crazy regrets, there are celebrities with crazy regrets, there are doctors with crazy regrets, you are not alone. Look to them and see that with time you can heal. We are all humans, not a single one of us has lived a perfect life. That’s the whole point of being here. We cant experience pain, sadness, regret or anything under that umbrella when we are with our creator. My theory is that we come here to feel what it’s like to be a human and then we go back to whatever we are (some energy) with our creator and just have good feelings and emotions.
Not sure why should would be caught off guard, 50 is a normal age for a man to have a baby 🤷♀️
Your reflections on age and dating highlight the societal perceptions i suppose many people grapple with when getting back into the dating world after a divorce. I actually had never heard of the "scumbag rule". I had to Google it 🫣
So from what I understand if someone is 40 years old, half of 40 is 20, plus seven equals 27 and according to the rule, a 40-year-old should date someone who is at least 27 years old or older 🧐 lol I had no idea about this and too lazy to look up if there are studies attached to it, but overall I think 27 and 40 is an acceptable age gap and I don’t feel it’s “gross” 🤷♀️ so I guess the rule makes sense just off of thinking about people I know at both ages.
But what exactly is so creepy or gross about courting a woman in her late 20s or early 30s? Women are quite mature in their 20s and I’m guessing are even more mature in their 30s even though it’s hard to spot the difference in women that are 25-35 🤷♀️ that age gap feels like they are all the same level of mature.
While age can bring about differences, compatibility is multifaceted. Shared values, understanding, and mutual respect play a big role. But yes, it's essential to feel comfortable and authentic in any relationship.
Your desire for a family is heartfelt.
I’m sure in time the right woman will cross your path and maybe she will teach you to love yourself the way she loves you.
I can’t understand why you say, “I’m still just barely young enough”? 40s is not old lol. I know women in their 40s that look and feel amazing, one of them even had a baby last year and she is super healthy. She goes to my Pilates class and she has more energy than me lol. I really don’t think 40 is too old to start a family 🤷♀️
Your self-awareness about how you treat yourself versus others is profound. It's commendable to want to make positive changes for others, but self-love is the foundation upon which we build meaningful relationships. It might seem daunting now, but learning to treat yourself with the same kindness you extend to others is a journey worth embarking on.
lol you are not doomed so DON’T go off into the wilderness and struggle with embracing solitude. If you are unable to learn self love on your own, maybe you will find a woman that will teach you how to love yourself 💝
I genuinely believe in the power of wordplay and its ability to offer solace, humor, and perspective. It’s wonderful to see that you hold it dear.
Your vision for a home filled with warmth and laughter is beautiful. Every dream starts with an idea, and your clarity about what you want is already a step in the right direction. I think you should for sure keep striving for that goal because it's worth pursuing. But also living alone is not the end of the world I know many of my parents friends that chose this path after the lose of a spouse or a divorce.
While you may feel you can't "see the changes in the sea," sometimes life’s ebb and flow is more felt than seen. It's about recognizing those moments of stillness and change within us.
Lastly, thank you for your gratitude 🥰. It's a privilege to connect with you in this way, and it's essential to support one another. One nice thing about Nostr is that a lot of us think alike and you're never alone here.
Wishing you strength and clarity 💝
Engaging in these deep and candid conversations, with a stranger I suppose is easier because there is no judgment - People often fear judgment from those they know. With strangers, there’s a sense of detachment. If I react negatively, you may feel that it doesn’t matter as much since you likely won’t encounter me in real life. A stranger can also off a fresh perspective with a different or unbiased viewpoint. I don’t have a vested interest in your life decisions, so my perspective may be more objective. Also when you share something personal with someone close can sometimes change the dynamics of the relationship, so there is a fear of consequences. Whereas with a stranger, there’s no ongoing relationship to risk. I can see that talking so openly with a stranger is refreshing as well because I’m listening without Agenda. Friends or family might have strong feelings or opinions about your life choices because those choices can affect them as well. A stranger might be more inclined to simply listen without trying to steer the conversation or outcome in a particular direction. And in that sense there might even be a therapeutic element to it. Sometimes the very act of verbalizing feelings and thoughts to another human being, even a stranger, can be healing. It’s a way of processing emotions and experiences. And the obvious one is that it reduces vulnerability. Oddly, while you might feel vulnerable sharing personal details, there’s also a reduced sense of vulnerability in the sense that if I react negatively or dismissively, it doesn’t have the same emotional weight as if a close friend or family member were to do so.
Being more introverted and leaning towards deeper connections with a smaller group of people is quite relatable for many. There's something comforting in sharing life's intricacies in intimate conversations with a small group of people that really know you. TBH I’m comfortable in most setting (large group or small group) I’m comfortable with most people (close friends and pass by friends). That being said I can see what you like in smaller settings 2-3 people even and I’m totally fine going from a big party chatting with many friends to then coming here and focusing on this one topic with one person, “like what's happening here.”
Your comment about being "all talk and no action" resonates with a lot of people. We sometimes need those talks to process our feelings, understand ourselves, and find a direction, only then we are able to take people’s action - so maybe it’s good we are talking so you then can take an action. But yes, the real change occurs when words turn into action.
It sounds like your time in the army had a significant impact on your life. I’m glad to hear the bitter, resentful, angry feelings are starting to fade. Remember, though, our past shapes us, but it doesn't define us. You are not alone in your skepticism or lack of trust in #FiatMoney! Most of us here on #Noster feel the EXACT SAME WAY, thankfully we have all found #Bitcoin 🙏. I myself went though an EXTREME depression when I started to understand how fucked up the whole system was with ALL FIT MONEY in EVERY COUNTRY - I was really feeling like there is no way out, thankfully when I finally understood what Bitcoin really is I felt alive again, I had hope for a better future, I had a reason to make plans. I’m sorry the army left a block mark on your soul and it hasn't been scrubbed away yet🙏. I don’t know exactly what happened to you there but I am sorry you had to experience whatever it is that you saw or felt there.
Why did you resent someone trying to help you recover? You still have physical pain from? 🥵 ugh if so I’m sorry I know that’s really not easy. Is there anyway to get disability from the Army?
Your current recognition of the need for internal discipline, and your awareness of the toxic relationship with exercise, are the first steps towards positive change. Genetics can actually modify with food and exercise, but you have to want this for yourself.
Try not to crumble from the weight of your regrets, there are people in jail that have crazy regrets, there are people in the middle of nowhere where that have crazy regrets, there are people in big cities that have crazy regrets, there are celebrities with crazy regrets, there are doctors with crazy regrets, you are not alone. Look to them and see that with time you can heal. We are all humans, not a single one of us has lived a perfect life. That’s the whole point of being here. We cant experience pain, sadness, regret or anything under that umbrella when we are with our creator. My theory is that we come here to feel what it’s like to be a human and then we go back to whatever we are (some energy) with our creator and just have good feelings and emotions.
Not sure why should would be caught off guard, 50 is a normal age for a man to have a baby 🤷♀️
Your reflections on age and dating highlight the societal perceptions i suppose many people grapple with when getting back into the dating world after a divorce. I actually had never heard of the "scumbag rule". I had to Google it 🫣
So from what I understand if someone is 40 years old, half of 40 is 20, plus seven equals 27 and according to the rule, a 40-year-old should date someone who is at least 27 years old or older 🧐 lol I had no idea about this and too lazy to look up if there are studies attached to it, but overall I think 27 and 40 is an acceptable age gap and I don’t feel it’s “gross” 🤷♀️ so I guess the rule makes sense just off of thinking about people I know at both ages.
But what exactly is so creepy or gross about courting a woman in her late 20s or early 30s? Women are quite mature in their 20s and I’m guessing are even more mature in their 30s even though it’s hard to spot the difference in women that are 25-35 🤷♀️ that age gap feels like they are all the same level of mature.
While age can bring about differences, compatibility is multifaceted. Shared values, understanding, and mutual respect play a big role. But yes, it's essential to feel comfortable and authentic in any relationship.
Your desire for a family is heartfelt.
I’m sure in time the right woman will cross your path and maybe she will teach you to love yourself the way she loves you.
I can’t understand why you say, “I’m still just barely young enough”? 40s is not old lol. I know women in their 40s that look and feel amazing, one of them even had a baby last year and she is super healthy. She goes to my Pilates class and she has more energy than me lol. I really don’t think 40 is too old to start a family 🤷♀️
Your self-awareness about how you treat yourself versus others is profound. It's commendable to want to make positive changes for others, but self-love is the foundation upon which we build meaningful relationships. It might seem daunting now, but learning to treat yourself with the same kindness you extend to others is a journey worth embarking on.
lol you are not doomed so DON’T go off into the wilderness and struggle with embracing solitude. If you are unable to learn self love on your own, maybe you will find a woman that will teach you how to love yourself 💝
I genuinely believe in the power of wordplay and its ability to offer solace, humor, and perspective. It’s wonderful to see that you hold it dear.
Your vision for a home filled with warmth and laughter is beautiful. Every dream starts with an idea, and your clarity about what you want is already a step in the right direction. I think you should for sure keep striving for that goal because it's worth pursuing. But also living alone is not the end of the world I know many of my parents friends that chose this path after the lose of a spouse or a divorce.
While you may feel you can't "see the changes in the sea," sometimes life’s ebb and flow is more felt than seen. It's about recognizing those moments of stillness and change within us.
Lastly, thank you for your gratitude 🥰. It's a privilege to connect with you in this way, and it's essential to support one another. One nice thing about Nostr is that a lot of us think alike and you're never alone here.
Wishing you strength and clarity 💝