fishcake on Nostr: Wanted to challenge myself this year and write more, and had time to think about ...
Wanted to challenge myself this year and write more, and had time to think about friendships in general. Here are some of my thoughts.
On the topic of friendship and making friends: If you are someone who struggles to keep friendships going or making friends, regardless of your age category, this note may help you. First, there is nothing wrong with having few good real friends and not being part of a large group. There could be a ton of reasons why you struggle with maintaining friendships or creating new ones, e.g., constantly moving from place to place, not having enough free time to maintain relationships, or not finding common interests and diverse enough backgrounds to stay engaged.
In my experience, all friendships start with trust. You need to either be the one making the first step (which comes with risks), or, ideally, both of you extend a "token of trust" to each other. Once you have this "bridge of trust" in place, you can work on it together to build it further. As long as you are able to maintain the trust between each other and are able to "test" the trust and confirm it from time to time, you should be good.
Friends should be people with whom you can share bad and good news, and be able to reciprocate without reservations. If you find yourself drained and at a low energy state, your friendship should be able to help you recharge. If you are not able to recharge, then perhaps the friendship is not mutually beneficial and being reciprocated.
One more aspect of a good friendship is selflessness. When you "give," you should never expect anything in return, and your expectations should be adjusted accordingly. Ideally, this will work well when your friendship is in good health and both of you are of the same mind.
Lastly, to find new friends, you should be able to put yourself out there and step out of your comfort zone. It's OK if it is uncomfortable at times or feels awkward or embarrassing. If your goal is to make more meaningful connections in life and find like-minded individuals, then you'll have to also work on yourself to be able to achieve it.
In the end, there is nothing wrong with having only a few friends (or none if that is your thing) and enjoying their company; not everyone has to be well connected or surrounded by a lot of friends. You do you, and make your own path in life. 🫡🫂(we still love you for what you are)
On the topic of friendship and making friends: If you are someone who struggles to keep friendships going or making friends, regardless of your age category, this note may help you. First, there is nothing wrong with having few good real friends and not being part of a large group. There could be a ton of reasons why you struggle with maintaining friendships or creating new ones, e.g., constantly moving from place to place, not having enough free time to maintain relationships, or not finding common interests and diverse enough backgrounds to stay engaged.
In my experience, all friendships start with trust. You need to either be the one making the first step (which comes with risks), or, ideally, both of you extend a "token of trust" to each other. Once you have this "bridge of trust" in place, you can work on it together to build it further. As long as you are able to maintain the trust between each other and are able to "test" the trust and confirm it from time to time, you should be good.
Friends should be people with whom you can share bad and good news, and be able to reciprocate without reservations. If you find yourself drained and at a low energy state, your friendship should be able to help you recharge. If you are not able to recharge, then perhaps the friendship is not mutually beneficial and being reciprocated.
One more aspect of a good friendship is selflessness. When you "give," you should never expect anything in return, and your expectations should be adjusted accordingly. Ideally, this will work well when your friendship is in good health and both of you are of the same mind.
Lastly, to find new friends, you should be able to put yourself out there and step out of your comfort zone. It's OK if it is uncomfortable at times or feels awkward or embarrassing. If your goal is to make more meaningful connections in life and find like-minded individuals, then you'll have to also work on yourself to be able to achieve it.
In the end, there is nothing wrong with having only a few friends (or none if that is your thing) and enjoying their company; not everyone has to be well connected or surrounded by a lot of friends. You do you, and make your own path in life. 🫡🫂(we still love you for what you are)