Matty-kun on Nostr: >This is my biggest hurdle. I’m honestly surprised that somebody else feels this ...

>This is my biggest hurdle. I’m honestly surprised that somebody else feels this way because I thought this was just me. I always felt like it was a waste of Jesus’ blood to have died for me, because I can never repay that and can never live up to His expectations.

You will never be able to "repay" God for His sacrifice for you. But He doesn't expect you to. In fact, he doesn't expect you to be perfect. You think I'm perfect? You think I don't slip up and do stupid shit that I know for a fact is against His will just because it feels good in the moment or because I figured, "ah it's just a little thing it's fine". It happens all the time.

God gave you the gift, the opportunity for salvation, for free. All you have to do is call on Him, accept that gift and let Him work in your heart. As you grow accustomed to His voice and what He wants for you to do, it becomes easier to follow the path that He sets out for you. It really isn't all that complicated. Your guilt is based on pride, a belief that your sins are just too damn great to be forgiven, and it is a tool that the enemy uses against you to keep you from realizing what you just read. There is no sin too great for His forgiveness, His mercy and His compassion for you. He's God.

You and I aren't so much different. Think about it for awhile. One step at a time, and when you get there, you'll realize how silly you were.