Duchess on Nostr: Well, I appreciate your candor and openness. Not everyone has the courage to express ...
Well, I appreciate your candor and openness. Not everyone has the courage to express themselves as genuinely as you do, especially when grappling with personal pain and introspection.
Life decisions, especially ones we look back on with regret, are tough. But remember that every choice we make, even the ones we label as 'mistakes,' contribute to who we become. Perhaps the time in the army and other decisions seemed ill-advised in hindsight, but they've undoubtedly shaped aspects of your character and resilience.
Why would you say joining the military was without a doubt, the dumbest and most harmful choice you ever made? I know the military usually instills a lot of discipline.
“I don't know how to reconcile the regret I feel with what I currently know I want.” I am not an expert, but I can say for myself, I have had a very wild life yet I regret nothing, but I suppose it’s just how I look at things. I understand mistakes I’ve made and I just try not to make them again, in school we make mistakes on our home work and then we correct them - it’s just how humans learn. Try looking at your life from a different lens.
It's true that bearing children is biologically more challenging for women as they age. However, it is not impossible if you are in your 40s dating a woman that is 30 is not something uncommon. It’s actually a healthy gap in many cases because you men mature much slower for some reason 😂 so it’s kind of a perfect match when considering how mature both people are 🤷♀️. And then she has plenty of time because women don’t even get into menopause until around 45 - 55. Also with advances in assisted reproductive technologies, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) and egg donation, women in their 50s and even 60s have successfully become pregnant and given birth. Obviously pregnancies in older age come with increased risks for both the mother and the baby, but my point is that it’s not something to just close the book on if you feel this strongly about it. Also there are many people who are unable to have children for whatever reasons and they just grow old and cute together💜.
Your self-awareness about your stubbornness and your own internal struggles is commendable. Self-blame is a heavy burden to bear, but remember, while accountability is important, perpetually blaming oneself can be corrosive. It’s essential to find a balance between acknowledging our missteps and showing ourselves compassion. You must be able to fully love yourself before you can offer love to a woman, you need to know how to love yourself in order to show her real love. How you treat yourself sets the tone for how others will treat you. When you love, respect, and value yourself, others will naturally reflect that same admiration and care. Trust me, including a potential future partner, they will mirror this respect back to you.
Re “I don't change easily or often. I'm stubborn and thickheaded.” If you want to change something you will. So if you meet a woman and she asks you to eat healthier so that you have a better chance at creating a healthy baby or just so that you can live longer together, if you share the same goals you will make the change with joy and excitement!
What do you think you need to change, but feel you are too “thickheaded” to change for?
Yeah, #nostr is a super cool place with many interesting, funny, smart, and very well read people. I got a smile out of your pop culture references! Though your body may bear the brunt of life's challenges, the spirit and intellect within you has remained sharp.
But I’m sorry you have had serious injuries 🥵🙏 I’m not sure what they are, but I know being in the army is not something easy and not a career many walk away from uninjured. But yeah also working 7 days a week for months at a time for years on end can take a toll on mental and physical health for sure! 🙏 However I don’t think you are past your prime, in fact I think you just entered it, and it's definitely not all downhill from here.
What’s your lifestyle that you consider not in your favor?
Your list speaks volumes about what you're looking for in a partner. It's detailed and thoughtful, reflecting a deep understanding of your desires and I can say I know many girls even my age that would say yes to everything on your list.
It sounds like you have a very specific picture of home, family, and a life filled with meaningful connections. While the search for such a person might seem daunting TO YOU (because that’s not a hard list IMO), having clarity about what you want in a partner is half the battle. There are many out there who would resonate with your vision of life. I think this is a great start and think only around 35-45 do men start to understand what they actually want in a partner and in their home life.
Your honesty is refreshing. While it might feel like a fault at times, it's a rare trait in today's world. Life has its ebb and flow; while you're navigating a challenging ebb now, there’s always the potential for the tide to change.
Life decisions, especially ones we look back on with regret, are tough. But remember that every choice we make, even the ones we label as 'mistakes,' contribute to who we become. Perhaps the time in the army and other decisions seemed ill-advised in hindsight, but they've undoubtedly shaped aspects of your character and resilience.
Why would you say joining the military was without a doubt, the dumbest and most harmful choice you ever made? I know the military usually instills a lot of discipline.
“I don't know how to reconcile the regret I feel with what I currently know I want.” I am not an expert, but I can say for myself, I have had a very wild life yet I regret nothing, but I suppose it’s just how I look at things. I understand mistakes I’ve made and I just try not to make them again, in school we make mistakes on our home work and then we correct them - it’s just how humans learn. Try looking at your life from a different lens.
It's true that bearing children is biologically more challenging for women as they age. However, it is not impossible if you are in your 40s dating a woman that is 30 is not something uncommon. It’s actually a healthy gap in many cases because you men mature much slower for some reason 😂 so it’s kind of a perfect match when considering how mature both people are 🤷♀️. And then she has plenty of time because women don’t even get into menopause until around 45 - 55. Also with advances in assisted reproductive technologies, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) and egg donation, women in their 50s and even 60s have successfully become pregnant and given birth. Obviously pregnancies in older age come with increased risks for both the mother and the baby, but my point is that it’s not something to just close the book on if you feel this strongly about it. Also there are many people who are unable to have children for whatever reasons and they just grow old and cute together💜.
Your self-awareness about your stubbornness and your own internal struggles is commendable. Self-blame is a heavy burden to bear, but remember, while accountability is important, perpetually blaming oneself can be corrosive. It’s essential to find a balance between acknowledging our missteps and showing ourselves compassion. You must be able to fully love yourself before you can offer love to a woman, you need to know how to love yourself in order to show her real love. How you treat yourself sets the tone for how others will treat you. When you love, respect, and value yourself, others will naturally reflect that same admiration and care. Trust me, including a potential future partner, they will mirror this respect back to you.
Re “I don't change easily or often. I'm stubborn and thickheaded.” If you want to change something you will. So if you meet a woman and she asks you to eat healthier so that you have a better chance at creating a healthy baby or just so that you can live longer together, if you share the same goals you will make the change with joy and excitement!
What do you think you need to change, but feel you are too “thickheaded” to change for?
Yeah, #nostr is a super cool place with many interesting, funny, smart, and very well read people. I got a smile out of your pop culture references! Though your body may bear the brunt of life's challenges, the spirit and intellect within you has remained sharp.
But I’m sorry you have had serious injuries 🥵🙏 I’m not sure what they are, but I know being in the army is not something easy and not a career many walk away from uninjured. But yeah also working 7 days a week for months at a time for years on end can take a toll on mental and physical health for sure! 🙏 However I don’t think you are past your prime, in fact I think you just entered it, and it's definitely not all downhill from here.
What’s your lifestyle that you consider not in your favor?
Your list speaks volumes about what you're looking for in a partner. It's detailed and thoughtful, reflecting a deep understanding of your desires and I can say I know many girls even my age that would say yes to everything on your list.
It sounds like you have a very specific picture of home, family, and a life filled with meaningful connections. While the search for such a person might seem daunting TO YOU (because that’s not a hard list IMO), having clarity about what you want in a partner is half the battle. There are many out there who would resonate with your vision of life. I think this is a great start and think only around 35-45 do men start to understand what they actually want in a partner and in their home life.
Your honesty is refreshing. While it might feel like a fault at times, it's a rare trait in today's world. Life has its ebb and flow; while you're navigating a challenging ebb now, there’s always the potential for the tide to change.