The_Beave on Nostr: It's not a strength everyone appreciates. (It might even be why I am divorced, since ...
It's not a strength everyone appreciates. (It might even be why I am divorced, since I refused to give in to my Ex's delusions...)
I never decided when I was young what I wanted. I was wishy washy and then squandered time with idiotic things like joining the army. (That was, without a doubt, the dumbest and most harmful choice I ever made.) I don't know how to reconcile the regret I feel with what I currently know I want.
Sure, it's possible to hwang kids later in life, but, that's particularly harder for women, who, quite literally bear most of that burden. I'm well out of the range of the traditional mold, as you say, so, that's not so much the issue as would be finding a woman who fits.
I don't change easily or often. I'm stubborn and thickheaded. It's useful for some things, but it's only detrimental to myself. The issue isn't external. I have determined that I have continually failed myself. Again, I have no one else to blame for that. So, I blame myself, and have for decades at this point. I'm not sure when I lost faith in myself, but I did, and I've never really gotten it back.
I was sure someone would get my hint. Many people hate are very well read. I'm happy that you got thr reference.
Allow me another pop culture quote (with a bit of paraphrase): "It's not the years, it's the miles." I am pretty beat up. I can still work, but, I have worked too long and too hard on the past, without the time and space to recover from serious injuries (some from the army, some just reckless abandonment working 7 days a week for months at a time for years on end). So, no, 40s isn't old, but, I'm past any prime I had, and it's pretty much all downhill from here. Genetics and lifestyle up to this point are not in my favor.
My stuff is not together yet, but, I do think I'm on the right path to at least break even in a year or three. Maybe you're right about that at my age.
It is absolutely a terrible task to try to find someone.
Let's see if I can keep my list short:
-protestant Christian (at least background)
-witty
-well read
-competent (generally, with a basic set of life skills and then also in at least one focused domain)
-likes cozy quiet punctuated by good meals with friends and family
-can tease and take teasing without get too mean
-would rather plant a garden to ensure the family has enough fresh, healthy food to eat
-wants to homeschool children
-wants 2+ children
-prefers cats over dogs (I'm not opposed to dogs, I just can't stand yippie, barky dogs)
-is fiscally responsible
-is not a "leaver-arounder" (like my ex and my dad, gosh, I hate picking up reaction stuff that should go where it belongs!)
-is capable of telling me off without making me feel too terrible (that's hard, I know, because I do need to be nudged at times, but I'd rather not have a nagging wife that goes off about anything and everything)
-prefers to discuss things ahead of time instead of being reactionary
-is quick to compliment instead of criticize
-would willingly live in the middle of a 5+ acres of wooded land, knowing that building a home there won't be easy work, but will be worth it
And for some other pertinent data:
Non-blonde (if stress awesome, I could make an exception, but I'm the odd duck who really doesn't like blondes, and really don't like bleaching/coloring hair)
Light eyes
Curvy > not
And maybe TMI, but, would necessarily have a higher than average libido
It's pleasant to hear you think that kindness is never wasted. I'm not sure I agree with the never part, but, in general, that's correct.
There's answers to your questions. Dunno if that helps anything, but, I am honest to a fault.
I never decided when I was young what I wanted. I was wishy washy and then squandered time with idiotic things like joining the army. (That was, without a doubt, the dumbest and most harmful choice I ever made.) I don't know how to reconcile the regret I feel with what I currently know I want.
Sure, it's possible to hwang kids later in life, but, that's particularly harder for women, who, quite literally bear most of that burden. I'm well out of the range of the traditional mold, as you say, so, that's not so much the issue as would be finding a woman who fits.
I don't change easily or often. I'm stubborn and thickheaded. It's useful for some things, but it's only detrimental to myself. The issue isn't external. I have determined that I have continually failed myself. Again, I have no one else to blame for that. So, I blame myself, and have for decades at this point. I'm not sure when I lost faith in myself, but I did, and I've never really gotten it back.
I was sure someone would get my hint. Many people hate are very well read. I'm happy that you got thr reference.
Allow me another pop culture quote (with a bit of paraphrase): "It's not the years, it's the miles." I am pretty beat up. I can still work, but, I have worked too long and too hard on the past, without the time and space to recover from serious injuries (some from the army, some just reckless abandonment working 7 days a week for months at a time for years on end). So, no, 40s isn't old, but, I'm past any prime I had, and it's pretty much all downhill from here. Genetics and lifestyle up to this point are not in my favor.
My stuff is not together yet, but, I do think I'm on the right path to at least break even in a year or three. Maybe you're right about that at my age.
It is absolutely a terrible task to try to find someone.
Let's see if I can keep my list short:
-protestant Christian (at least background)
-witty
-well read
-competent (generally, with a basic set of life skills and then also in at least one focused domain)
-likes cozy quiet punctuated by good meals with friends and family
-can tease and take teasing without get too mean
-would rather plant a garden to ensure the family has enough fresh, healthy food to eat
-wants to homeschool children
-wants 2+ children
-prefers cats over dogs (I'm not opposed to dogs, I just can't stand yippie, barky dogs)
-is fiscally responsible
-is not a "leaver-arounder" (like my ex and my dad, gosh, I hate picking up reaction stuff that should go where it belongs!)
-is capable of telling me off without making me feel too terrible (that's hard, I know, because I do need to be nudged at times, but I'd rather not have a nagging wife that goes off about anything and everything)
-prefers to discuss things ahead of time instead of being reactionary
-is quick to compliment instead of criticize
-would willingly live in the middle of a 5+ acres of wooded land, knowing that building a home there won't be easy work, but will be worth it
And for some other pertinent data:
Non-blonde (if stress awesome, I could make an exception, but I'm the odd duck who really doesn't like blondes, and really don't like bleaching/coloring hair)
Light eyes
Curvy > not
And maybe TMI, but, would necessarily have a higher than average libido
It's pleasant to hear you think that kindness is never wasted. I'm not sure I agree with the never part, but, in general, that's correct.
There's answers to your questions. Dunno if that helps anything, but, I am honest to a fault.