tulpa on Nostr: I was thinking about alcohol. As you probably know, drinking alcohol produces ...

I was thinking about alcohol. As you probably know, drinking alcohol produces endorphins, which make you feel good. I had trained myself to drink so I could get that endorphin high. (Even though the aftermath is always at least a little bad.)

This didn't make me any better at my job or my life. It just made it easier for me to ignore everything else because I knew there was a good feeling at a predictable point in my future.

Without that, everything is just flat and I wonder why I'm alive.