Cousin_Martha_Corey on Nostr: I don’t totally agree with this article, but I thought I’d share it as a ...
I don’t totally agree with this article, but I thought I’d share it as a different perspective.
A lot of these anti-single motherhood articles have the same problem: they presume that there was some great Dad, standing there with flowers, crying in the rain when the Mom wouldn’t marry him. Women are generally more interested in marriage than men, if they find men who would be good (or even just decent) husbands. Single motherhood usually means no good man made himself available, so the question isn’t, “Wouldn’t it have been nice if she’d allowed Mr. Cleaver to stick around?, but “What are her options now?”
This author does raise the one objection I have always had to this type of living situation: single women often date men, and men other than a child’s father, but who are present in the home, are the #1 source of child abuse (see Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker).
It’s also unclear what happens when one of the women does find a male companion, or wants to date. How will these women feel when a man they don’t know very well starts visiting the home or staying overnight? How will their children feel? It’s not that these problems cannot be negotiated under the right circumstances but if women are not careful, they can place their children into inappropriate or even unsafe situations.
I otherwise love the idea of women living together. It may work well for those who are truly not going to be dating ever again. I am in that category.
https://www.deseret.com/2023/5/17/23723964/single-mothers-mommunes-fathers-children
A lot of these anti-single motherhood articles have the same problem: they presume that there was some great Dad, standing there with flowers, crying in the rain when the Mom wouldn’t marry him. Women are generally more interested in marriage than men, if they find men who would be good (or even just decent) husbands. Single motherhood usually means no good man made himself available, so the question isn’t, “Wouldn’t it have been nice if she’d allowed Mr. Cleaver to stick around?, but “What are her options now?”
This author does raise the one objection I have always had to this type of living situation: single women often date men, and men other than a child’s father, but who are present in the home, are the #1 source of child abuse (see Protecting the Gift by Gavin de Becker).
It’s also unclear what happens when one of the women does find a male companion, or wants to date. How will these women feel when a man they don’t know very well starts visiting the home or staying overnight? How will their children feel? It’s not that these problems cannot be negotiated under the right circumstances but if women are not careful, they can place their children into inappropriate or even unsafe situations.
I otherwise love the idea of women living together. It may work well for those who are truly not going to be dating ever again. I am in that category.
https://www.deseret.com/2023/5/17/23723964/single-mothers-mommunes-fathers-children