Ocean on Nostr: GM! I I promised wencke that I would write down some of my experience with vipassana ...
GM! I I promised wencke (npub1gsy…qd9m) that I would write down some of my experience with vipassana meditation. I decided to post it here so anybody could read.
Select memories about my first 10 day silent meditation:
I was excited and nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I went alone, leaving behind my encouraging girlfriend.
I was on a waitlist and got the call to come right away. So drop everything and go!
Arrival: excited meet and talk with the other meditators, have a light meal, and then ushered into the meditation hall. A video explained what we were doing here and how it would go. We were asked to take certain vows for the duration of the retreat. One was a vow of silence. From that moment for the next 10 days there was no talking, except to privately ask specific meditation technique clarification questions to a teacher at specific times if needed. No chit chat with them though.
For the next 3 days, we learned and practiced concentration based meditations aimed at both narrowing and sharpening awareness and sustained awareness.
After with our newly acquired focus, we learned body scanning techniques. Each day the technique was subtly refined or expanded.
Each night we would watch a 1 hour video that provided a mix of reflection and explanation on what we are accomplishing, as well as some light to medium buddhist theology and philosophy. I found this enjoyable.
Throughout the time, you are warned not to let your mind wander and get lost in your thoughts. I tried to take that advice seriously.
You mind will of course wander endlessly, but when you notice that, you gently bring it back to focus. There is a great temptation to allow you mind to wander. To say, ehhhh let it wander. But if you do that the hours will transpire and you will waste a valuable opportunity.
Sometimes my mind would wander for minutes at a time or even fall asleep, but as soon as you become aware of wandering mind, I try to bring it back.
Sometimes my mind would wander ever second and I would bring it back ever second. Like a tug of war. Mind wanders, Come BACK! Mind wanders. Come BACK! Ahh ok I’m back here I am, wait I’m talking to myself, that means I am wandering.
Eventually you learn that you don’t need to finish the sentence in you mind. When you are thinking you can drop mid thought and refocus on your meditation. But some part of you fights that, the thought wants to have your attention. The stronger your focus, the weaker the pull of the thought.
In my case I never experience no thoughts, they are always there, but they become very weak, very quiet, with little ability to hook my attention. They become like little bubbles floating in the background of no real importance.
Then you loose focus and they grab you again. It is what it is.
The days go by slowly. It is simultaneously incredible and agonizing.
It feels like I am suddenly thrust in real life magic school. Some of the phenomena I am observing in my body and my mind, it feels like another dimension of life and experience has opened up. I am already wishing everyone could experience this.
After 2-3 days I start to understand that my mind/thoughts is an endless train of narration, and get the glimmer of reprieve of that. A tiny space of quietness begins to bloom. Boom! perhaps the tiniest glimmer of understanding has begun.
But it is also hellacious. When you loose your discipline and the might starts wandering soon it is complaining and you can get so lost in the suffering. Calculating the time left. I imaging everyone has their own version of that suffering. Try to pull yourself out quickly so you do not loose yourself.
Then 10 days is over.
We learn a new technique. Is is very nice. And we can now talk again.
I was so happy to talk with everyone. So many smiles. Some people are overflowing with talk and some people stay quiet. Overall jubilant mood. You get a day to enjoy everyone’s company before re-entering the outside world.
Now you have something pretty good and beautiful that you can build upon for the rest of your life if you wish.
Select memories about my first 10 day silent meditation:
I was excited and nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I went alone, leaving behind my encouraging girlfriend.
I was on a waitlist and got the call to come right away. So drop everything and go!
Arrival: excited meet and talk with the other meditators, have a light meal, and then ushered into the meditation hall. A video explained what we were doing here and how it would go. We were asked to take certain vows for the duration of the retreat. One was a vow of silence. From that moment for the next 10 days there was no talking, except to privately ask specific meditation technique clarification questions to a teacher at specific times if needed. No chit chat with them though.
For the next 3 days, we learned and practiced concentration based meditations aimed at both narrowing and sharpening awareness and sustained awareness.
After with our newly acquired focus, we learned body scanning techniques. Each day the technique was subtly refined or expanded.
Each night we would watch a 1 hour video that provided a mix of reflection and explanation on what we are accomplishing, as well as some light to medium buddhist theology and philosophy. I found this enjoyable.
Throughout the time, you are warned not to let your mind wander and get lost in your thoughts. I tried to take that advice seriously.
You mind will of course wander endlessly, but when you notice that, you gently bring it back to focus. There is a great temptation to allow you mind to wander. To say, ehhhh let it wander. But if you do that the hours will transpire and you will waste a valuable opportunity.
Sometimes my mind would wander for minutes at a time or even fall asleep, but as soon as you become aware of wandering mind, I try to bring it back.
Sometimes my mind would wander ever second and I would bring it back ever second. Like a tug of war. Mind wanders, Come BACK! Mind wanders. Come BACK! Ahh ok I’m back here I am, wait I’m talking to myself, that means I am wandering.
Eventually you learn that you don’t need to finish the sentence in you mind. When you are thinking you can drop mid thought and refocus on your meditation. But some part of you fights that, the thought wants to have your attention. The stronger your focus, the weaker the pull of the thought.
In my case I never experience no thoughts, they are always there, but they become very weak, very quiet, with little ability to hook my attention. They become like little bubbles floating in the background of no real importance.
Then you loose focus and they grab you again. It is what it is.
The days go by slowly. It is simultaneously incredible and agonizing.
It feels like I am suddenly thrust in real life magic school. Some of the phenomena I am observing in my body and my mind, it feels like another dimension of life and experience has opened up. I am already wishing everyone could experience this.
After 2-3 days I start to understand that my mind/thoughts is an endless train of narration, and get the glimmer of reprieve of that. A tiny space of quietness begins to bloom. Boom! perhaps the tiniest glimmer of understanding has begun.
But it is also hellacious. When you loose your discipline and the might starts wandering soon it is complaining and you can get so lost in the suffering. Calculating the time left. I imaging everyone has their own version of that suffering. Try to pull yourself out quickly so you do not loose yourself.
Then 10 days is over.
We learn a new technique. Is is very nice. And we can now talk again.
I was so happy to talk with everyone. So many smiles. Some people are overflowing with talk and some people stay quiet. Overall jubilant mood. You get a day to enjoy everyone’s company before re-entering the outside world.
Now you have something pretty good and beautiful that you can build upon for the rest of your life if you wish.