Fedipasta [Now also featuring random fedi posts] on Nostr: WHOA MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA! BAZOOOOOOIING *eyes bulge out of head and shoot ...

WHOA MAMA! HUMMINA HUMMINA HUMMINA! BAZOOOOOOIING *eyes bulge out of head and shoot forward at 120 mph* AROOOOOOOOOOOOGA *jaw drops to the floor, tongue rolls out a foot forward* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF *punches self in face with boxing glove five times* HOOLEY DOOLEY *pulls on train whistle that has appeared beside head as steam blows out* ARF ARF ARF ARF *pulls out comically large carton of milk, drinks all of it spilling it everywhere* EEEE-AW EEEE-AW *wolf whistle* BWOOOAAGHHH *tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart* GUHGUHGUHGUHGUH *rubs ass on ground like dog* HAHT MAMA *eyes turn into slot machine slots* WOWZA! *tapdancing sounds, running in a circle* JEEPERS HEEPERS *pants like dog, rips off pants, heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt* BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM BA-BUM *slams fists on table rattling any silverware or plates* DUUUUUUHHHH *bashes own head with hammer 5 times* OOOOOHHHH I’M DYYYYYYYIIN’ *slams chair on table* BONK BONK BONK BONK BONK *old-timey car horn sound, tongue straightens out like wooden board, eyes go out of skull and back in like paddleballs* CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA *fireworks shoot from top of head* PHWOAARRR *sniffs air loudly, nostrils become comically large* HONKA HONKA HONKA HONKA *sound of mouth harp as body is straightened out, floating a foot above the ground* JEEZ LOUISE *propeller spins on hat comically* WOWEEE *gets massive erection, tries to aggressively push it back down into pants* OINKA OINKA *pulls out massive drum, starts beating it excessively* HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA *jumps on table, smashes through table and ground, springs back upward at an incredible velocity* HAHEEEEEE *pupils fly away from eyes, eyes snap forward towards them* ARROOOOOOOOOO AROOOOOOOOOO *fucking dies, ghost goes out of corpse with a lyre, body pulls ghost back into body* WHADDA DAAAAME *starts foaming at the mouth* HUUUUUUUURRRRRR *furiously turns crank on machine that hits hands on table* GRRRR BARK BARK BARK *head unscrews and starts rotating* BUH-DOOIIOIOIOING *starts rattling like a jar of coins, suspended half a metre in the air* DING DING DING DING DING DING *starts bouncing up and down at a high speed, starts boiling like tea kettle and turning red* HOOOLY MOOOOLY
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