Hunter Cat on Nostr: Today I had a revelation, a kind of satori regarding my life and high abilities. My ...
Today I had a revelation, a kind of satori regarding my life and high abilities. My surprise and anger was very great when I was admitted to a mental hospital for a crisis (la primera) and they did a lot of tests on me and determined that I was gifted. I kept thinking that it couldn't be, that if I was, I couldn't be that sick and poor.
And people always asked me (and I did too) why if I was so intelligent I couldn't earn money to live better and more comfortably.
It took many years to understand this, even today. And it doesn't matter much now, but perhaps it will be useful to others in the same situation.
The first problem is that one does not realize that one is intelligent because that is how one has always been and one thinks that things are simply easy to understand and learn.
The second is that I am autistic and that hides, conceals or masks intelligence. I don't seem gifted because I am autistic.
The third is that the ease of learning does not allow one to value what one does because it did not cost any effort. When I started electronic engineering at university I already knew almost as much as an engineer. When I was a musician I achieved in three years what it takes other musicians ten or fifteen. As a hacker The same thing happened to me and as a programmer as well. In Oriental Medicine and martial arts I was more consistent and I have been doing this for almost 40 years and I asked why. The answer is because that interests me much more.
I have been writing since I was eight years old and it has only been five years since I started to like what I write but I don't feel like publishing anything.
All of this makes me a mess. I had job offers in many things and I rejected them and now I understand the serious problems of socialization and communication that I have.
So, at almost 62, my satori consists of having very little interest in making money with my skills because what I would have to do for that is too challenging, socializing, going to going to an office, enduring conversations with colleagues, etc., a boss who is not worth it.
Finally, my strongest interest is philosophy, the meaning of life and suffering, and Buddhism, Zen in particular, martial arts and inner cultivation are my priority. Just like in a Chinese tale, I am a kind of urban monk, an almost ascetic who despises and pompously shits on his own intellect because he feels that there are other aspects of life that are better.
I know you all want to be millionaires, belong to the elite of geniuses, gain fame and all that shit. But not for me, it is too difficult to deal with people and a system of life that seems absurd, destructive and perverse to me.
In any case, I would prefer to use those abilities to help others (basically what I have done most of my life) and to be able to live in the deep peace that being alone and silent gives me.
My life plan for my old age with my wife is to retire from the world as much as possible, with just what is necessary to live.
But don't relax too much because I'm a hacker and I still feel like doing a little damage here and there 😅😅
I have some ideas and I'm going to share them to see what you think.
#autism #gifted #autistic #actuallyautistic #2e #doubleexceptional #intelligence #zen #budhism #meditation
And people always asked me (and I did too) why if I was so intelligent I couldn't earn money to live better and more comfortably.
It took many years to understand this, even today. And it doesn't matter much now, but perhaps it will be useful to others in the same situation.
The first problem is that one does not realize that one is intelligent because that is how one has always been and one thinks that things are simply easy to understand and learn.
The second is that I am autistic and that hides, conceals or masks intelligence. I don't seem gifted because I am autistic.
The third is that the ease of learning does not allow one to value what one does because it did not cost any effort. When I started electronic engineering at university I already knew almost as much as an engineer. When I was a musician I achieved in three years what it takes other musicians ten or fifteen. As a hacker The same thing happened to me and as a programmer as well. In Oriental Medicine and martial arts I was more consistent and I have been doing this for almost 40 years and I asked why. The answer is because that interests me much more.
I have been writing since I was eight years old and it has only been five years since I started to like what I write but I don't feel like publishing anything.
All of this makes me a mess. I had job offers in many things and I rejected them and now I understand the serious problems of socialization and communication that I have.
So, at almost 62, my satori consists of having very little interest in making money with my skills because what I would have to do for that is too challenging, socializing, going to going to an office, enduring conversations with colleagues, etc., a boss who is not worth it.
Finally, my strongest interest is philosophy, the meaning of life and suffering, and Buddhism, Zen in particular, martial arts and inner cultivation are my priority. Just like in a Chinese tale, I am a kind of urban monk, an almost ascetic who despises and pompously shits on his own intellect because he feels that there are other aspects of life that are better.
I know you all want to be millionaires, belong to the elite of geniuses, gain fame and all that shit. But not for me, it is too difficult to deal with people and a system of life that seems absurd, destructive and perverse to me.
In any case, I would prefer to use those abilities to help others (basically what I have done most of my life) and to be able to live in the deep peace that being alone and silent gives me.
My life plan for my old age with my wife is to retire from the world as much as possible, with just what is necessary to live.
But don't relax too much because I'm a hacker and I still feel like doing a little damage here and there 😅😅
I have some ideas and I'm going to share them to see what you think.
#autism #gifted #autistic #actuallyautistic #2e #doubleexceptional #intelligence #zen #budhism #meditation