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nano 🎄 /
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2024-02-23 21:40:25

nano 🎄 on Nostr: the person who accused my boyfriend of raping her is named ginny maive reardon. she ...

the person who accused my boyfriend of raping her is named ginny maive reardon. she is the admin of spinny.city and can also be found on transfem.social. she is a 43 year old single parent who had a very sexual and intimate relationship with my boyfriend, commenter, who is 18 years old. she is trying to claim that commenter is a rapist, sexually assaulted her, and targets trans people to abuse. until now, we have both decided to say nothing publicly about the situation, to avoid giving ginny the undeserved attention she seems to seek, and to avoid starting unnecessary fights. however, we both find her claims to be extremely dangerous and threatening, so for the first time in either of our lives, we are making a public post to call her out and set the record straight, as commenter is no abuser, no rapist, and no chaser. i encourage you to read this entire post, as all of it is important to the situation.

ginny bought commenter a ticket to her house and they stayed together for a week. they had a lot of sex, and the intention of the visit was always sexual. she knew that something was wrong with the whole arrangement, as she never got confirmation from him or me that i was okay with it, but waited days after commenter’s arrival and had sex multiple times before asking him if everything was okay. to clarify, at no point did she ever think to ask about my wishes or opinion on the visit and the relationship as a whole despite us being friends and despite her knowing that commenter is my boyfriend. from her perspective, she was willingly allowing my boyfriend to cheat on his partner, who she is friends with, not questioning the idea that commenter was doing this whole thing out of lust without thinking about it.

ginny’s persistent “joke” throughout the visit was “power dynamics”. it typically went something along the lines of “i used my power dynamics to make you do that”. i find this an incredibly creepy thing to say to a teenager coming from someone in their 40s, which is over double his age. she would use a lot of age-related terms like “cougar”, which is a term for an older woman that preys on younger men. she also twisted commenter’s anxiety of hanging out in public with someone much older than him into “being afraid to be next to a trans person”. when commenter started replying to yaseen on fedi, ginny would make jokes that commenter was flirting with them to add to his “trans harem”. he repeatedly said this made him uncomfortable and told her to stop, but she kept doing it. commenter also asked her to stop generalising him by his gender and bringing up him being male, which prompted her to apologise, delete some posts related to it, and then went right back to doing it again.

once commenter went home, there was a back and forth about romantic feelings and once commenter questioned the stability of a potential relationship and the power dynamics involved, ginny said she wanted nothing to do with commenter and they stopped talking. after they fell out, ginny started subposting about him, whittling him down to being “the boy”, making fun of his interests, the things he spoke to her about, calling him rude for doing things like allowing her to pick up his bags, and making a lot of comments about him being a cis male. when they were still close, ginny said that commenter was “the only good cis person” and is “honorary trans”, and consistently would mention him being a boy in unrelated contexts.

eventually, she decided to name him in a public post. i reached out to her and started a conversation with her to convince her to say nothing or at the very least keep him anonymous, as i feared that false accusations would damage his and my life. after going back and forth for almost 3 hours, i had to go to attend a pre-planned event. she, as a friend, promised me that she would wait until i got back before posting anything publicly with his name, encouraging me that she is not desperate to post anything and can wait an infinite amount of time, telling me that she respects me enough to do that. once i got back, i found that she had broken her promise, and posted what she had to say anyway.

the posts she made didn’t get nearly enough traction, because the claims weren’t very solid and didn’t sound that serious, since her primarily talking point was “he manipulated me”, with no evidence to back it up, as well as being littered with needless and random sexism. she eventually deleted them, and continued to pull new, worse accusations out of her ass, sometimes then deleting those too after a few hours or days of nobody caring about it.

the whole time, she was trying to pedal this myth that commenter targets trans people and has been in several relationships with trans people. the truth is that i am the first and only trans person that he has ever officially had a partnership with. as a matter of fact, he was very strictly gay (mlm) before meeting me. previously, when he was 14, he dated someone that, years after they broke up, came out as trans, but this person identified as cis through their entire relationship and for a long time following it. that means, commenter has only dated one trans person in his life, and the only other person he has ever dated only cracked their egg years after they broke up. ginny is using the only 2 relationships he has ever been in during his entire life to prove that commenter is seeking trans people to “take advantage of”, and has repeatedly said to me that he has had 3 or 4 relationships with trans people, which is demonstrably false. his friendship with ginny had nothing to do with her gender identity or the “insecurities of trans people”, like she puts it, and is just part of her scheme to generalise and label all cis men as chasers. ginny has also simplified my own gender identity of “transfem non-binary” to “transwoman” to fit her narrative of commenter targeting transwomen, treating me like yet another vulnerable transwoman that needs “protection” from him. gender seems to be a theme with this whole thing, especially considering ginny’s obsession with her own gender identity and her entire personality being that she’s an older transwoman, which is shown by how her instance’s assets are almost all transfem flags, with the exception of the spoiler image which is a demigirl flag.

in her posts, she started with anonymous subposts, then started making posts saying “commenter manipulated me”, and eventually that grew into “commenter raped me”. let’s talk about that outrageous claim:

i previously mentioned that the goal of the visit was primarily sex. i went back and forth on whether or not i was okay with this arrangement, but eventually decided it was okay. after they had already had lots of different kinds of sex, commenter eventually decided that he didn’t want to anymore. about an hour after, he changed his mind, and went back to the normal cycle of sex. at no point did ginny say that she no longer wanted this, at no point did she say “no”, and at no point did she even attempt to signal that she was uncomfortable. nothing about this particular sexual encounter was any different to the rest. this is what ginny is trying to pass off as “rape”.

initially, there was no “rape”. ginny never claimed there was any “rape”. during a conversation we had right after commenter got back home as part of my own effort to understand what happened during the trip, ginny only ever said to me that that commenter was “exploiting the insecurities of transwomen”, which i also found to be outrageous and extremely out of character for someone i know better than anyone in the world. ginny only started to claim that commenter raped her when people weren’t giving her enough attention for the things she was posting about him and i. ultimately, i’ve known commenter for 3 and a half years, have been in a committed and stable relationship with him for almost 9 months, am friends with people who have known him for approaching 6 years, and have spoken to his father on a few occasions. i talk to him every single day more than anyone else on the planet, me and him have shared very intimate and dark secrets, and when commenter gets even the slightest hint of me being upset or uncomfortable, he is very quick to ask me what’s wrong and will promptly apologise for anything, even if it’s not his fault, trying absolutely anything he possibly can to make me feel better or help with any situation i’m in. because of this, and using what he has told me about him and ginny’s relationship, as well as what ginny initially told me about the whole thing immediately after he got home, i am able to say without a shadow of a doubt that commenter is extremely good at respecting boundaries, would never hurt a fly, and is absolutely not any kind of chaser. in fact, he keeps to himself as much as possible and goes out of his way to talk to as few people as possible, further backing up that he is not any kind of predator.

i am writing this post and deciding to name her because she has told commenter that she is writing up the story of how commenter “assaulted” her to post publicly on her website including his real name, which is a severe claim to make alongside someone’s real identity and could be very threatening to commenter’s life and family. she made the claim that we keep trying to hurt her for no reason when we have both been dead silent and haven’t spoken about this with anyone. yet, she keeps coming back trying to hurt us. we both cut contact with her immediately after she went against my wishes and made her posts before i was able to get back from the event i was attending and haven’t spoken to or about her since. i find the way that ginny has conducted herself throughout this whole situation to be excessively irresponsible and immature for a 43 year old with a pre-teen child who is years into a leadership position at google. she is not considering commenter’s age, how he has years ahead before his mind has finished developing, and how this is the first time he has done anything like what he’s done with ginny. ginny seems incredibly hasty and bloodthirsty even when it’s at the expense of other people, and it is unacceptable. thank you for reading.
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