satoroca on Nostr: I've been a failure in most things I've tried. There is something in me saying it ...
I've been a failure in most things I've tried. There is something in me saying it can't be like that. There must be a mistake. And such force propels me forward and wakes me up in the morning.
A failure of a father.
Yes, I am critiquing myself.
I am afraid of many things. And one of them is being a bad example for my children.
And I tend to think I've not been heroic enough for them to admire. And so often I inflate my wins. And seldom talk about my losses.
Like here in this Nostr. You are my childs. I try to be honest and perhaps I'm not. It's just that I don't know anymore. Did I fail or did I win by failing? Or did I fail accomplishing some higher learning?
I've been devoured by the character.
The spiritual one
The footballer
The artisan
The piano guy
The family man
I'm none of them and perhaps I'm all of them. It is that I don't know anymore. And it is that I don't know if I'm being honest or not. If I am telling some truth or not.
Is it that I live in a contradiction?
Perhaps there is a higher truth.
Eagles eyes point of view.
Sometimes I think all the evil in the world is just within me and nowhere else. It's my recurrent nightmare. So familiar that I kind of love it. Because, who am I instead? We've known for decades. Nightmare and me, I mean.
Oh Great Spirit if there is one and I'm not crazy: help me conciliate the paradox if there is one and I am not crazy. Help me find my own words and not be an echo of the dead.
I want to be innocent.
A failure of a father.
Yes, I am critiquing myself.
I am afraid of many things. And one of them is being a bad example for my children.
And I tend to think I've not been heroic enough for them to admire. And so often I inflate my wins. And seldom talk about my losses.
Like here in this Nostr. You are my childs. I try to be honest and perhaps I'm not. It's just that I don't know anymore. Did I fail or did I win by failing? Or did I fail accomplishing some higher learning?
I've been devoured by the character.
The spiritual one
The footballer
The artisan
The piano guy
The family man
I'm none of them and perhaps I'm all of them. It is that I don't know anymore. And it is that I don't know if I'm being honest or not. If I am telling some truth or not.
Is it that I live in a contradiction?
Perhaps there is a higher truth.
Eagles eyes point of view.
Sometimes I think all the evil in the world is just within me and nowhere else. It's my recurrent nightmare. So familiar that I kind of love it. Because, who am I instead? We've known for decades. Nightmare and me, I mean.
Oh Great Spirit if there is one and I'm not crazy: help me conciliate the paradox if there is one and I am not crazy. Help me find my own words and not be an echo of the dead.
I want to be innocent.