Corfiot on Nostr: There are no "transgender kids". There is body dysphoria and sexual expression that ...
There are no "transgender kids". There is body dysphoria and sexual expression that does not match social expectations.
Parent's responsibility to guide, encourage and protect holds for all neurologically different kids, including autists and retarded kids. I do not have a concrete opinion of whether body dysphoria is on par with those conditions, I am inclined to believe it is at least in the same ball park.
Therefore parents need to decide if they can handle it pretty early on and if not, find the proper care (which does not include modifying their body's functions). It's a nightmare for any parent to have a child that works differently or does not work as well as expected (in case of retardation for example). I'd try my best but I'd still not deny the reality of the situation: this is an exception, it's not the norm, this kid will have a different life and must learn special ways to cope with their situation, I will help. But again, a retarded / autistic / whatever child is not denying its basic biology like a child with body dysphoria is. It's a different level of problem.
About not feeling accepted, the parent's job is not to affirm and accept the kid in all situations. The kid may be digressing into dangerous paths, just "accepting" whatever fantasy the kid has is not going to help. Guide the kid through the rough parts, encourage it that it can handle it, help if necessary.
I feel it is useful to point out that parents, like your father, forcing masculine behavior on kids that obviously are not that way inclined is wrong. For example, a boy's sexual expression can be "feminine" but the boy is still a boy. You tell the boy he's a boy, because obviously he is, you let him act in a feminine way if that is what you realize is the only way for him to operate and move on. Nothing wrong with introducing some "masculine" activities because this will make the boy's life easier later on by lessening the disconnect from social norms. If the activities work for him, fine, if not, not ideal but everyone diverges from social norms somewhere.
What you must NOT do is tell the boy he's a girl and that girls and boys are a spectrum and that malarkey. It's just a feminine *boy*. This will make his life hard but he'll make it, as you say, if you're on his side. Mind you, "his side" is not the fantasy du jour. This urgency to begin hormones early and block puberty is an aberration in the normal development of humans and IMO a last-resort measure for really extreme situations. So, no suppressing obvious traits of the kid but also no faking reality either by encouraging the "you are how you feel" delusion.
Possibly this clears my previous points out a bit more for you.
Parent's responsibility to guide, encourage and protect holds for all neurologically different kids, including autists and retarded kids. I do not have a concrete opinion of whether body dysphoria is on par with those conditions, I am inclined to believe it is at least in the same ball park.
Therefore parents need to decide if they can handle it pretty early on and if not, find the proper care (which does not include modifying their body's functions). It's a nightmare for any parent to have a child that works differently or does not work as well as expected (in case of retardation for example). I'd try my best but I'd still not deny the reality of the situation: this is an exception, it's not the norm, this kid will have a different life and must learn special ways to cope with their situation, I will help. But again, a retarded / autistic / whatever child is not denying its basic biology like a child with body dysphoria is. It's a different level of problem.
About not feeling accepted, the parent's job is not to affirm and accept the kid in all situations. The kid may be digressing into dangerous paths, just "accepting" whatever fantasy the kid has is not going to help. Guide the kid through the rough parts, encourage it that it can handle it, help if necessary.
I feel it is useful to point out that parents, like your father, forcing masculine behavior on kids that obviously are not that way inclined is wrong. For example, a boy's sexual expression can be "feminine" but the boy is still a boy. You tell the boy he's a boy, because obviously he is, you let him act in a feminine way if that is what you realize is the only way for him to operate and move on. Nothing wrong with introducing some "masculine" activities because this will make the boy's life easier later on by lessening the disconnect from social norms. If the activities work for him, fine, if not, not ideal but everyone diverges from social norms somewhere.
What you must NOT do is tell the boy he's a girl and that girls and boys are a spectrum and that malarkey. It's just a feminine *boy*. This will make his life hard but he'll make it, as you say, if you're on his side. Mind you, "his side" is not the fantasy du jour. This urgency to begin hormones early and block puberty is an aberration in the normal development of humans and IMO a last-resort measure for really extreme situations. So, no suppressing obvious traits of the kid but also no faking reality either by encouraging the "you are how you feel" delusion.
Possibly this clears my previous points out a bit more for you.