Diyana on Nostr: #vulnarableshare I wrote 3 years ago today #alchemy #fearintolove ...
#vulnarableshare I wrote 3 years ago today #alchemy #fearintolove
Last winter/spring time I was starting a new practice. I was taking Deepest Fear Inventory as in relating to what was causing me to stall a particular professional expansion goal... keep me hiding, staying small, self-sabotaging.
... as guided by Carolyn Elliott, PhD. It's a practice aiming to make conscious previously unconscious fears, so they begin to hold less power in the way I show up in my life.
The practice is very detailed in how it takes place, but a portion of it is listing 20 deepest fears as the reason why I am staying away from what I desire... with each starting with the sentence:
Because I have a deep fear that I...
I was just listening to one of my summer coaching sessions with Amma Li Grace that reminded me of one of these fears... and inspired this share.
When I did the practice I listed something that I was quite in awe to observe how much deeply sensational and emotionally alive of a feeling it held with it, as it literally cause me to start crying as I wrote it down. It had me go "Wow, this is really alive and charged."
It went like this...
Because I have a deep fear that I am retarded.
Because I have deep fear that I am stupid.
Because I have a deep fear that I am dumb.
I was able to immediately arrive to the moment in my youth where the encoding of this emotionally charged belief was planted and originated.
I had peeled many layers over the years that led me here a few times already over the last couple of years and I'd been psychoanalyzing and feeling into it, trying to link behaviors, insecurities, reactions and the ways it influences my relating to and in the world.
This new DFI practice helped me to unlock another layer in awareness and invite space for more healing and clearing. I can't say if I went deep enough to clear it all out. I sense that I went as deep as I had the capacity to at the time and felt like needing to give myself time and space and a breather for it to begin to reshape and integrate.
I feel that I am sharing this as a way to extend an invitation to you to take inventory of your deepest fears that maybe unconscious that perhaps are holding you back from living at your highest potential. Have you come across fears you were a bit surprised to unearth?
Btw, this perfectly relates to a new book I started listening to after sitting in my Audible for some time... by Kyle Cease called The Illusion of Money.
He tells a parable entertaining the idea of Michael Jordan getting amnesia and completely forgetting that he's this amazing basketball player and all his achievements... and then going into what might the process look like trying to help Michael Jordan remember, while he's simply moving through the narrow conditioned box of our societal structures....
I barely have just started reading it but already very entertained and in receptive state to more deeply integrating truths in new ways. I recommend giving it a read.
Last winter/spring time I was starting a new practice. I was taking Deepest Fear Inventory as in relating to what was causing me to stall a particular professional expansion goal... keep me hiding, staying small, self-sabotaging.
... as guided by Carolyn Elliott, PhD. It's a practice aiming to make conscious previously unconscious fears, so they begin to hold less power in the way I show up in my life.
The practice is very detailed in how it takes place, but a portion of it is listing 20 deepest fears as the reason why I am staying away from what I desire... with each starting with the sentence:
Because I have a deep fear that I...
I was just listening to one of my summer coaching sessions with Amma Li Grace that reminded me of one of these fears... and inspired this share.
When I did the practice I listed something that I was quite in awe to observe how much deeply sensational and emotionally alive of a feeling it held with it, as it literally cause me to start crying as I wrote it down. It had me go "Wow, this is really alive and charged."
It went like this...
Because I have a deep fear that I am retarded.
Because I have deep fear that I am stupid.
Because I have a deep fear that I am dumb.
I was able to immediately arrive to the moment in my youth where the encoding of this emotionally charged belief was planted and originated.
I had peeled many layers over the years that led me here a few times already over the last couple of years and I'd been psychoanalyzing and feeling into it, trying to link behaviors, insecurities, reactions and the ways it influences my relating to and in the world.
This new DFI practice helped me to unlock another layer in awareness and invite space for more healing and clearing. I can't say if I went deep enough to clear it all out. I sense that I went as deep as I had the capacity to at the time and felt like needing to give myself time and space and a breather for it to begin to reshape and integrate.
I feel that I am sharing this as a way to extend an invitation to you to take inventory of your deepest fears that maybe unconscious that perhaps are holding you back from living at your highest potential. Have you come across fears you were a bit surprised to unearth?
Btw, this perfectly relates to a new book I started listening to after sitting in my Audible for some time... by Kyle Cease called The Illusion of Money.
He tells a parable entertaining the idea of Michael Jordan getting amnesia and completely forgetting that he's this amazing basketball player and all his achievements... and then going into what might the process look like trying to help Michael Jordan remember, while he's simply moving through the narrow conditioned box of our societal structures....
I barely have just started reading it but already very entertained and in receptive state to more deeply integrating truths in new ways. I recommend giving it a read.