atomicpoet on Nostr: Listen, there’s only one reason to call a movie Air Force Two, and that’s to fool ...
Listen, there’s only one reason to call a movie Air Force Two, and that’s to fool profoundly stupid people into thinking it’s a sequel to Air Force One.
The original Air Force One got its name because it was about a crisis aboard the U.S. president’s special airplane. Simple enough. But Air Force Two—that’s the vice president’s plane—and this movie isn’t even really about that. Why? Because the plane crashes in the first few minutes.
This is your basic mockbuster. I suspect they came up with the title after the movie was finished—because it’s also known as “In Her Line of Fire,” and was marketed towards lesbians. More on that later.
I knew this would be a trashy movie, and wow, it did not disappoint. It’s trashy in every way possible.
Let’s start with the lead actress: Mariel Hemingway. She was definitely a “C” cast for this role. A good lead for this kind of action flick would be someone like Sigourney Weaver or Grace Jones—someone who can convincingly pull off being tough. Mariel Hemingway? Not it. Most of the time, she’s just making faces, and whenever she gets into a fight, it’s utterly unbelievable. She doesn’t have the fitness or presence to make it work. I mean, not everyone’s cut out to be an action star, and that’s okay—but why cast her?
And no, she’s not playing the vice president. Instead, she’s a Secret Service agent assigned to protect the VP, who’s played by David Keith. Speaking of him, he’s neither charismatic nor convincing in the role. I have no idea why he was cast—maybe all the budget went to Mariel Hemingway? That’s just speculation, though.
As for the plot, this movie reminds me a lot of the original Far Cry game. In fact, this could be Far Cry if Jack Carver were played by Mariel Hemingway. They arrive on a tropical island, wander around, shoot stuff—it’s the same deal.
The budget? Nonexistent. The set designs were terrible. The costumes were terrible. The CGI? Laughable. Something as simple as fire looked like it came straight out of a 1995 video game. If you can’t render fire in your action sequences, you’re in trouble.
Despite all this, the movie is—somehow—watchable. Not good, but watchable. It’s entertaining in its over-the-top ridiculousness. Even Mariel Hemingway trying and failing to make “tough girl” faces was oddly fun to watch. And when she gets out a machine gun and goes berserk? That alone was worth the ticket.
The villain, played by David Millbern, was easily the highlight of the movie. He gave it everything he had—scenery chewing to the point of apoplexy. He was hilariously unhinged and single-handedly made the movie worth sitting through.
Now, the funny thing about this film is how it embodies the 2000s-era propaganda. It’s drenched in the whole “we don’t negotiate with terrorists” and “America is the beacon of democracy” shtick. Watching it now, it’s almost laughable. Back then, they really sold this idea of America as the Mother Teresa of nations. These days, no one buys into that anymore.
One final note: this movie was supposedly marketed as a “lesbian Rambo” film. Mariel Hemingway’s character is supposed to be a lesbian Secret Service agent protecting the vice president. But, in reality? There’s zero lesbian subtext. None. There’s one other woman in the movie who isn’t Mariel Hemingway, and the so-called “sparks” between them are non-existent. It’s like the filmmakers poured a bucket of cold water on any potential tension.
Even the tagline was misleading: “Behind enemy lines, no one can stop her. Only one woman can touch her.” I’ll admit, it’s a clever tagline, but the movie doesn’t deliver on it at all. As someone who pays close attention to potential lesbian subtext in films, I can confidently say there’s nothing here.
It’s also strange that they cast Mariel Hemingway as a lesbian. She’s not a lesbian—she was married to a man, had kids, and even after this movie, married another man. Maybe she’s secretly bisexual? I doubt it. If you’re going to make a movie about a lesbian action hero, maybe cast someone who is an actual lesbian—or at least someone who can convincingly play one.
Bottom line: Air Force Two is trashy, bad, and ridiculous—but it’s still watchable. Not good. But watchable.
The original Air Force One got its name because it was about a crisis aboard the U.S. president’s special airplane. Simple enough. But Air Force Two—that’s the vice president’s plane—and this movie isn’t even really about that. Why? Because the plane crashes in the first few minutes.
This is your basic mockbuster. I suspect they came up with the title after the movie was finished—because it’s also known as “In Her Line of Fire,” and was marketed towards lesbians. More on that later.
I knew this would be a trashy movie, and wow, it did not disappoint. It’s trashy in every way possible.
Let’s start with the lead actress: Mariel Hemingway. She was definitely a “C” cast for this role. A good lead for this kind of action flick would be someone like Sigourney Weaver or Grace Jones—someone who can convincingly pull off being tough. Mariel Hemingway? Not it. Most of the time, she’s just making faces, and whenever she gets into a fight, it’s utterly unbelievable. She doesn’t have the fitness or presence to make it work. I mean, not everyone’s cut out to be an action star, and that’s okay—but why cast her?
And no, she’s not playing the vice president. Instead, she’s a Secret Service agent assigned to protect the VP, who’s played by David Keith. Speaking of him, he’s neither charismatic nor convincing in the role. I have no idea why he was cast—maybe all the budget went to Mariel Hemingway? That’s just speculation, though.
As for the plot, this movie reminds me a lot of the original Far Cry game. In fact, this could be Far Cry if Jack Carver were played by Mariel Hemingway. They arrive on a tropical island, wander around, shoot stuff—it’s the same deal.
The budget? Nonexistent. The set designs were terrible. The costumes were terrible. The CGI? Laughable. Something as simple as fire looked like it came straight out of a 1995 video game. If you can’t render fire in your action sequences, you’re in trouble.
Despite all this, the movie is—somehow—watchable. Not good, but watchable. It’s entertaining in its over-the-top ridiculousness. Even Mariel Hemingway trying and failing to make “tough girl” faces was oddly fun to watch. And when she gets out a machine gun and goes berserk? That alone was worth the ticket.
The villain, played by David Millbern, was easily the highlight of the movie. He gave it everything he had—scenery chewing to the point of apoplexy. He was hilariously unhinged and single-handedly made the movie worth sitting through.
Now, the funny thing about this film is how it embodies the 2000s-era propaganda. It’s drenched in the whole “we don’t negotiate with terrorists” and “America is the beacon of democracy” shtick. Watching it now, it’s almost laughable. Back then, they really sold this idea of America as the Mother Teresa of nations. These days, no one buys into that anymore.
One final note: this movie was supposedly marketed as a “lesbian Rambo” film. Mariel Hemingway’s character is supposed to be a lesbian Secret Service agent protecting the vice president. But, in reality? There’s zero lesbian subtext. None. There’s one other woman in the movie who isn’t Mariel Hemingway, and the so-called “sparks” between them are non-existent. It’s like the filmmakers poured a bucket of cold water on any potential tension.
Even the tagline was misleading: “Behind enemy lines, no one can stop her. Only one woman can touch her.” I’ll admit, it’s a clever tagline, but the movie doesn’t deliver on it at all. As someone who pays close attention to potential lesbian subtext in films, I can confidently say there’s nothing here.
It’s also strange that they cast Mariel Hemingway as a lesbian. She’s not a lesbian—she was married to a man, had kids, and even after this movie, married another man. Maybe she’s secretly bisexual? I doubt it. If you’re going to make a movie about a lesbian action hero, maybe cast someone who is an actual lesbian—or at least someone who can convincingly play one.
Bottom line: Air Force Two is trashy, bad, and ridiculous—but it’s still watchable. Not good. But watchable.