Lailanite on Nostr: Conflict Between Absence and Presence: A State Of Being In the darkness of existence, ...
Conflict Between Absence and Presence: A State Of Being
In the darkness of existence, I see only one light—a faint flicker that lies beneath the surface.
The warmth in people’s eyes and the love they offer no longer suffice for me.
My soul seeks safety in the gaze of ghosts that have already claimed their share of this existence.
Every breath, every glance, every word feels like a debt weighing on my shoulders, and the accumulation of these debts only drains my body further.
My soul remains untouched by fatigue, pain, or hardship. Instead, it carries the weight of a hope that never arrives,
a dream confined to the boundaries of my pillow.
In this reality, all I have are memories, colored and shaped to align with my delusions.
Darkness surrounds me—black, elusive, without form, name, or history.
I do not recall her as a child, silent—this is all I know of her. I do not remember her face, her sadness, or her sorrow.
I have painted her, given her memories, so that my mind can build a foundation from her, guiding me on this journey.
Now, my colors are complete, revealing the truth—the ugliness, the fear, the imbalance.
These qualities mirror the earth’s core, my refuge, my home.
There is no light to save me, and the darkness will not enlighten me.
Loneliness, nothingness, dissolution, and destruction—these are my true colors.
I have no place in the human system on the surface.
I am not human. I am not flesh. I am nothingness. I am emptiness. I am darkness—seconds before the explosion.
#damus #nostr #grownostr #poetry #decentralization #opensource #existence #philosophy #bitcoin #poem
In the darkness of existence, I see only one light—a faint flicker that lies beneath the surface.
The warmth in people’s eyes and the love they offer no longer suffice for me.
My soul seeks safety in the gaze of ghosts that have already claimed their share of this existence.
Every breath, every glance, every word feels like a debt weighing on my shoulders, and the accumulation of these debts only drains my body further.
My soul remains untouched by fatigue, pain, or hardship. Instead, it carries the weight of a hope that never arrives,
a dream confined to the boundaries of my pillow.
In this reality, all I have are memories, colored and shaped to align with my delusions.
Darkness surrounds me—black, elusive, without form, name, or history.
I do not recall her as a child, silent—this is all I know of her. I do not remember her face, her sadness, or her sorrow.
I have painted her, given her memories, so that my mind can build a foundation from her, guiding me on this journey.
Now, my colors are complete, revealing the truth—the ugliness, the fear, the imbalance.
These qualities mirror the earth’s core, my refuge, my home.
There is no light to save me, and the darkness will not enlighten me.
Loneliness, nothingness, dissolution, and destruction—these are my true colors.
I have no place in the human system on the surface.
I am not human. I am not flesh. I am nothingness. I am emptiness. I am darkness—seconds before the explosion.
#damus #nostr #grownostr #poetry #decentralization #opensource #existence #philosophy #bitcoin #poem