RickThrivingNow on Nostr: We’re all born gullible. We take in beliefs and stories – no matter how ...
We’re all born gullible. We take in beliefs and stories – no matter how disturbing. We adapt to them. Believe them!
As children we actually don’t have the capacity to discern their deeper truths and fictions.
The imperative we’re born with is: learn the environment, including the social environment. What are the stories people around us Live By?
Stories help us connect with others and make “sense” of our experiences. It’s why we’ve been telling them for thousands of years, and why they’re such a big part of culture and society.
That doesn’t mean we have to live with those stories forever! We can revise and re-do them to serve us better.
The 3-year-old’s story of Santa is different from the story my almost 10-year-old now understands. His is now the story of generosity… and magic. He’s now part of co-creating the Magic of Christmas and holding that space.
But what about stories that are sticky and icky? Stories about who we are? The pretty one… or the not pretty one? The smart one… or the one who has to struggle to keep up? The artistic one… or the one who can’t draw a stick figure? The clumsy one… or the star athlete? The DIFFICULT one… or the Good One?
The favorite? Or the one not-so-liked?
I had a guy call me a moron in an email two days ago. Hahaha. He doesn’t know that My Story is that I am savvy and smart… savvy enough to delete him from the email list without even replying!
Of course, if my identity stories were different, his words might have once again “affirmed” my harmful story about myself.
We are all gullible. It’s why it’s a real skill to lean how to detect the harmful stories we have taken in (and made up) and… re-craft them.
Wouldn’t you agree that it’s likely that I, Rick, have done something moronic in my life? Perhaps even yesterday? Yeah. But my story helps me heal from those experiences.
I wish for all of us Healing Stories… that when we goof or get hurt or are unliked by someone that, well, we can recognize that someone not liking us isn’t the same as a general story that we’re unlikable!
Even if that person was mom or dad.
But we’re born gullible, and dang, of all the inner emotional work, changing our identity stories is… complicated. Intense sometimes.
And not just childhood stories. We can make up a story about someone’s goodness and even exceptional qualities that, later, we see weren’t actually true.
“I asked for it” or “I deserved it” or “I must not be worthy” are stories, harmful ones, that are ‘useful’ sometimes to protect us from facing the real cruelty that was being inflicted on us.
My own harmful stories have stayed in me sometimes for decades… until they were ready to be re-crafted. THAT’S OKAY.
I just know, with all my heart, that stories can harm us. The ones that do… don’t feel good! They poke at our core, call for attention. They remind us, “There’s something ‘off’ about this story…”
Our harmful stories hurt. They are supposed to. The hurt we feel is NOT, however, because those harmful stories are… true.
If it really hurts to walk, maybe get better shoes… or take the rocks out of your socks and then see how walking feels…
Cathy and I know it takes both courage and the right conditions to start shifting a long-standing harmful story into one that is healing. Once you have the experience, the practice gets easier for sure.
Stories that are healing still may make us cry… but the tears are different than the tears of pain from stories that are crying out to be changed. We hope you’ll join us.
Register now (and also get the recording):
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/stories-that-hurt-stories-that-heal/1315/6
As children we actually don’t have the capacity to discern their deeper truths and fictions.
The imperative we’re born with is: learn the environment, including the social environment. What are the stories people around us Live By?
Stories help us connect with others and make “sense” of our experiences. It’s why we’ve been telling them for thousands of years, and why they’re such a big part of culture and society.
That doesn’t mean we have to live with those stories forever! We can revise and re-do them to serve us better.
The 3-year-old’s story of Santa is different from the story my almost 10-year-old now understands. His is now the story of generosity… and magic. He’s now part of co-creating the Magic of Christmas and holding that space.
But what about stories that are sticky and icky? Stories about who we are? The pretty one… or the not pretty one? The smart one… or the one who has to struggle to keep up? The artistic one… or the one who can’t draw a stick figure? The clumsy one… or the star athlete? The DIFFICULT one… or the Good One?
The favorite? Or the one not-so-liked?
I had a guy call me a moron in an email two days ago. Hahaha. He doesn’t know that My Story is that I am savvy and smart… savvy enough to delete him from the email list without even replying!
Of course, if my identity stories were different, his words might have once again “affirmed” my harmful story about myself.
We are all gullible. It’s why it’s a real skill to lean how to detect the harmful stories we have taken in (and made up) and… re-craft them.
Wouldn’t you agree that it’s likely that I, Rick, have done something moronic in my life? Perhaps even yesterday? Yeah. But my story helps me heal from those experiences.
I wish for all of us Healing Stories… that when we goof or get hurt or are unliked by someone that, well, we can recognize that someone not liking us isn’t the same as a general story that we’re unlikable!
Even if that person was mom or dad.
But we’re born gullible, and dang, of all the inner emotional work, changing our identity stories is… complicated. Intense sometimes.
And not just childhood stories. We can make up a story about someone’s goodness and even exceptional qualities that, later, we see weren’t actually true.
“I asked for it” or “I deserved it” or “I must not be worthy” are stories, harmful ones, that are ‘useful’ sometimes to protect us from facing the real cruelty that was being inflicted on us.
My own harmful stories have stayed in me sometimes for decades… until they were ready to be re-crafted. THAT’S OKAY.
I just know, with all my heart, that stories can harm us. The ones that do… don’t feel good! They poke at our core, call for attention. They remind us, “There’s something ‘off’ about this story…”
Our harmful stories hurt. They are supposed to. The hurt we feel is NOT, however, because those harmful stories are… true.
If it really hurts to walk, maybe get better shoes… or take the rocks out of your socks and then see how walking feels…
Cathy and I know it takes both courage and the right conditions to start shifting a long-standing harmful story into one that is healing. Once you have the experience, the practice gets easier for sure.
Stories that are healing still may make us cry… but the tears are different than the tears of pain from stories that are crying out to be changed. We hope you’ll join us.
Register now (and also get the recording):
https://www.thrivingnow.center/t/stories-that-hurt-stories-that-heal/1315/6