Legally Faith :v_tg: :v_lb: on Nostr: Two years ago today, I came out to my wife. It was possibly the hardest thing I've ...
Two years ago today, I came out to my wife.
It was possibly the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I told her that I had something I needed to talk about and then I sat on the couch in silence for what felt like an eternity before I could squeak out those 6 little words: "I think I have gender dysphoria."
"Is that all?" she said. "I thought you were going to ask for a divorce or something. You've been so distant the last few months." She was right. I had. My actual egg had cracked about 4 months prior but we were both in the middle of job changes and I didn't want to throw that into the mix. So instead I just disassociated and pushed through.
We spent the rest of that evening on the couch sending each other Quora and Reddit posts about "How did you know you were trans?" I knew I felt horrible about myself and wanted to be a girl but I didn't yet know that's what being trans meant. I thought trans people were just what happens when you take that to the extreme or something. (Yay internalized transphobia! 🙄) A lot of what we read that night didn't resonate (I didn't have much of a sense of gender identity and certainly not at age 6) but about 40% of it hit dead center. Enough that I knew I needed to figure it out.
That Saturday, we spent the afternoon at a coffee shop sipping our drinks and talking. That's when she said those 8 magic words: "I would love to be lesbians with you."
I can't tell you how much she means to me. Without her support, I don't know that I would be where I am today. I was utterly terrified of even cracking the door and looking in at those emotions. She gave me the acceptance and space, the emotional safety I needed to actually explore and figure myself out.
That's why today, March 2, is my new birthday. Today is the day I finally, for the first time in my life, started to live.💜
It was possibly the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I told her that I had something I needed to talk about and then I sat on the couch in silence for what felt like an eternity before I could squeak out those 6 little words: "I think I have gender dysphoria."
"Is that all?" she said. "I thought you were going to ask for a divorce or something. You've been so distant the last few months." She was right. I had. My actual egg had cracked about 4 months prior but we were both in the middle of job changes and I didn't want to throw that into the mix. So instead I just disassociated and pushed through.
We spent the rest of that evening on the couch sending each other Quora and Reddit posts about "How did you know you were trans?" I knew I felt horrible about myself and wanted to be a girl but I didn't yet know that's what being trans meant. I thought trans people were just what happens when you take that to the extreme or something. (Yay internalized transphobia! 🙄) A lot of what we read that night didn't resonate (I didn't have much of a sense of gender identity and certainly not at age 6) but about 40% of it hit dead center. Enough that I knew I needed to figure it out.
That Saturday, we spent the afternoon at a coffee shop sipping our drinks and talking. That's when she said those 8 magic words: "I would love to be lesbians with you."
I can't tell you how much she means to me. Without her support, I don't know that I would be where I am today. I was utterly terrified of even cracking the door and looking in at those emotions. She gave me the acceptance and space, the emotional safety I needed to actually explore and figure myself out.
That's why today, March 2, is my new birthday. Today is the day I finally, for the first time in my life, started to live.💜