hxhx on Nostr: Been meaning to write this for awhile now and I finally got the courage as well as ...
Been meaning to write this for awhile now and I finally got the courage as well as time to pen down my thoughts.
I'm a nobody, that's for sure. I've been diagnosed with depression for close to 10 years now. On and off meds, relapsing every once in awhile. But life was pretty bearable, thanks to this great invention called 'Alcohol'. 6 months ago, I had a major relapse and started drinking on a daily basis. I was pretty much numbing myself because of how useless I felt: unemployed, college dropout, mentally unfit for work. I felt like I was an absolute waste of space in society. On the day where I had the desire to end it all, I called the suicide hotline. I was drunk and depressed. I needed someone to talk to. I went into the emergency department, and whilst waiting for the psychiatrist, I reflected upon my life. I went from a hardworking, hopeful youth, to a depressed alcoholic. I wanted to change that, I told myself. I gave myself a challenge: a year to fix myself, and if I had failed, then.. There will be no regrets leaving the world.
It has been 6 months now. I've been sober, and I've been going to therapy. I've gotten back to school with the help of a lot of people who I am eternally indebted to, to complete my diploma. Each day, I'm trying to be a better version of myself. It's not easy. But I tell myself everyday, that things will work out just fine.
Why am I sharing this? Well, i just wanted to break the stigma and share awareness of mental health. Ty for reading.
I'm a nobody, that's for sure. I've been diagnosed with depression for close to 10 years now. On and off meds, relapsing every once in awhile. But life was pretty bearable, thanks to this great invention called 'Alcohol'. 6 months ago, I had a major relapse and started drinking on a daily basis. I was pretty much numbing myself because of how useless I felt: unemployed, college dropout, mentally unfit for work. I felt like I was an absolute waste of space in society. On the day where I had the desire to end it all, I called the suicide hotline. I was drunk and depressed. I needed someone to talk to. I went into the emergency department, and whilst waiting for the psychiatrist, I reflected upon my life. I went from a hardworking, hopeful youth, to a depressed alcoholic. I wanted to change that, I told myself. I gave myself a challenge: a year to fix myself, and if I had failed, then.. There will be no regrets leaving the world.
It has been 6 months now. I've been sober, and I've been going to therapy. I've gotten back to school with the help of a lot of people who I am eternally indebted to, to complete my diploma. Each day, I'm trying to be a better version of myself. It's not easy. But I tell myself everyday, that things will work out just fine.
Why am I sharing this? Well, i just wanted to break the stigma and share awareness of mental health. Ty for reading.