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body / body (space cake expert) ⚡️DSB#815⚡️
npub1kl6…ny33
2024-09-26 04:26:59

body on Nostr: WE CAME FROM AQUATIC APES I've always liked this theory. I think about it often when ...

WE CAME FROM AQUATIC APES
I've always liked this theory. I think about it often when I go swimming. I find it improves my technique, and explains why I might want to have an aquarium one day. It's an old video, and I don't know if Elaine Morgan is still with us and doing well. Here's a short run-down of some of the evidence she presents:

OUR NAKED SKIN
Every animal that has lost its body hair is aquatic:
the dugong, walrus, the manatee, the babirusa. Like all these ugly hairless animals, humans have gone almost full commando.

OK BUT WHAT ABOUT THE ELEPHANT?
Everyone now agrees that all the pachyderms had an aquatic ancestor. "No swimming trunks inside the house please!"

CONSIDER BIPEDALITY
Humans are the only animals that walk on two legs. However, all monkeys and apes are capable, but there is only one instance when they always walk on 2 legs: when they walk through water. There was only one who could walk ON water though: Chimpanjesus of Nazareth.

OUR FAT LAYER
Normal fat dispersement in land animals is among the interior organs, whereas with aquatic mammals such as whales, fat has migrated to the outside as blubber beneath the skin for insulation. There is little argument that humans are experiencing the same phenomenon, becoming grossly obese. And when you think about it, with the invention of the straw and venti Frappuccino, humans kinda have become filter feeders.

CONSCIOUS CONTROL OF BREATH
The only other animals besides humans that can do this are the diving animals and the diving birds. You can't even teach an ape to say "ah" on request. An obvious necessity for language, and amicable dentist appointments.

WE ARE STREAMLINED
Olympic divers can dive into water with hardly a splash. Compared to a gorilla, we are halfway shaped like a fish. Try to imagine a gorilla winning versus a pair of synchronized Chinese divers. The gorilla will probably lose. But he will look hilarious in a red Speedo.

King Thong: 2.7/10

https://youtu.be/bFDqYzgJfIo?


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