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Creative! Queer!! Autistic!!! /
npub1n82…rhun
2023-08-18 17:30:40
in reply to nevent1q…0ucu

Creative! Queer!! Autistic!!! on Nostr: npub18dcg0…cat9u npub1mewd5…etau6 I've shared my story many times. Eight years ...

npub18dcg0wr0eudmlq6a72we9xpjy5gersmkgjmdc3n4e9cwj0z52nps5cat9u (npub18dc…at9u) npub1mewd58tz390gcnw0ml99alkzzgcuj2yg9tdsjwt45zga54rtsj8qketau6 (npub1mew…tau6)

I've shared my story many times.
Eight years ago (I'm 53 now), my therapist asked if I'd ever been assesed for autism. The question seemed out of the blue to me, and I literally laughed out loud. I dismissed it, didn't think about it anymore, til i was talking with my Mom, and thought she;d think it was funny, too.
Instead, she said, "Oh yeah, your teachers were always pushing me to have you tested, but I told them, "He doesn't have autism, he has ASSHOLISM, HA HA!"
She was so proud of her joke... but my whole understanding of myself crumbled in that moment. I recalled all the teachers who had given me extra help, and at some point, each of them had gone cold and dropped me. I always thought it was because I'd done something wrong, but that must 've been when they realized my family wasn't going to do anything to help me, or take the fact that I *needed* help seriously.
I thought about how *ALL* of the things my parents beat, shamed and punished me for were classic traits of autism: stimming, sensitivity to noise and light, eye contact avoidance, special interests (I wish I had a nickle for every time I tried to talk about any of my special interests and was told ny my family I was "boring), the need to have everything organized and on-schedule, etc.

I will never be able to let go of the anger and sorrow that MULTIPLE TRAINED PROFESSIONSALS TOLD MY PARENTS THERE WAS A PROBLEM... and they decided that *they* knew better. There are so many struggles and heartaches that could have been prevented, or I could have learned tools to deal with them.

They just sent me out into the world, with no training and no protection.

And I feel that pinballing through life, from one drama to another, has brought me to old age with no support and no foundation in place.
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