Ricki Is Not A Wizard Tarr on Nostr: Okay something I've been thinking about. Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts about ...
Okay something I've been thinking about.
Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts about myself, which are often confusing, but in no way have anything to do with how you feel about it yourself. This is mostly me working out feelings and trying to get context. I'm curious what other people do with these kinds of thoughts.
I have a disease that is sometimes under control, and other times it is not. It can cause Chronic pain, that can be anywhere from a mild annoyance to stuck in bed. But if you asked me, Do I have a disability, my instant reaction would be No. I know logically that it totally meets the parameters, it can really interfere with my life when it's bad, but it's not something that is visible, so a huge part of me says, you're not allowed to claim that. Now this is silly, I know a lot of disabilities aren't visible, and I would never discriminate against someone else because they don't have a visible disability. Another part of me is afraid of the label, not because I have a problem with it, but once you use that word, people look at you differently, they start making assumptions about you, they start thinking they can give you advice or decide your worth. And I feel like a wimp, because it's brave to say Hey, I am disabled, but often I don't feel "disabled" and I realize, like fuck, I'm falling into this trap of deciding what a disability means. I feel pulled in different directions, I'm a person with issues, disability will be a part of everyone's life at some point, I'm just me. For people who rely on someone else to decide if they're "disabled enough" to get the tiny amount of income their government provides this is a whole other bucket of hornets. Then you're forced into telling strangers intimate details of your struggles so you can support yourself and your family, with a really good chance of being denied. I mean, Fuck, it's hard for it to not sound like a bad word when you're treated like a criminal for health issues. I'm rambling on, so I'll just ask:
So, how do you all feel, does the label bother you, empower you, something entirely different? Tell me your thoughts!
Disclaimer: These are my own thoughts about myself, which are often confusing, but in no way have anything to do with how you feel about it yourself. This is mostly me working out feelings and trying to get context. I'm curious what other people do with these kinds of thoughts.
I have a disease that is sometimes under control, and other times it is not. It can cause Chronic pain, that can be anywhere from a mild annoyance to stuck in bed. But if you asked me, Do I have a disability, my instant reaction would be No. I know logically that it totally meets the parameters, it can really interfere with my life when it's bad, but it's not something that is visible, so a huge part of me says, you're not allowed to claim that. Now this is silly, I know a lot of disabilities aren't visible, and I would never discriminate against someone else because they don't have a visible disability. Another part of me is afraid of the label, not because I have a problem with it, but once you use that word, people look at you differently, they start making assumptions about you, they start thinking they can give you advice or decide your worth. And I feel like a wimp, because it's brave to say Hey, I am disabled, but often I don't feel "disabled" and I realize, like fuck, I'm falling into this trap of deciding what a disability means. I feel pulled in different directions, I'm a person with issues, disability will be a part of everyone's life at some point, I'm just me. For people who rely on someone else to decide if they're "disabled enough" to get the tiny amount of income their government provides this is a whole other bucket of hornets. Then you're forced into telling strangers intimate details of your struggles so you can support yourself and your family, with a really good chance of being denied. I mean, Fuck, it's hard for it to not sound like a bad word when you're treated like a criminal for health issues. I'm rambling on, so I'll just ask:
So, how do you all feel, does the label bother you, empower you, something entirely different? Tell me your thoughts!