KnepalaCKP on Nostr: Living with CPTSD feels like carrying around this lens I didn’t ask for. It colors ...
Living with CPTSD feels like carrying around this lens I didn’t ask for. It colors everything—how I relate to people, handle stress, even how I see myself when things get tough. I learned early on that the world wasn’t always a safe place, and my mind adapted by staying on high alert, always anticipating, always ready. Sometimes it feels like survival mode has just become...life.
Yes, to others, this can come off as distant or intense. But to me, it’s my way of trying to keep things from spiraling, trying to understand a world that didn’t make sense when I was a kid. But the thing is, knowing why I feel like this is helping me undo some of those patterns, little by little. Healing isn’t about forgetting the past; it’s learning to live with it in a way that gives you some peace.
I’m also realizing there’s strength in this journey. The empathy I have for others going through their own battles, the way I’ve learned to support myself—those aren’t small things. They’re part of the growth, part of finding my own way to feel safe again. I’m learning to trust, to let people in, and it’s messy sometimes, but it’s real.
So, to anyone dealing with CPTSD or childhood trauma: you’re not alone. Be kind to yourself; it’s a long process, but every step counts. We don’t get to change the past, but we do get to decide how we keep moving forward, one day at a time.
Yes, to others, this can come off as distant or intense. But to me, it’s my way of trying to keep things from spiraling, trying to understand a world that didn’t make sense when I was a kid. But the thing is, knowing why I feel like this is helping me undo some of those patterns, little by little. Healing isn’t about forgetting the past; it’s learning to live with it in a way that gives you some peace.
I’m also realizing there’s strength in this journey. The empathy I have for others going through their own battles, the way I’ve learned to support myself—those aren’t small things. They’re part of the growth, part of finding my own way to feel safe again. I’m learning to trust, to let people in, and it’s messy sometimes, but it’s real.
So, to anyone dealing with CPTSD or childhood trauma: you’re not alone. Be kind to yourself; it’s a long process, but every step counts. We don’t get to change the past, but we do get to decide how we keep moving forward, one day at a time.