ninja8tyu on Nostr: i think i understand another reason why i'm obsessed with this game i've made so many ...

i think i understand another reason why i'm obsessed with this game

i've made so many mistakes in my life, and continuing to build on them, or not giving up and playing elsewhere, leads to a bigger loss in the long run

sometimes you can save yourself if your opponent makes a mistake, or doesn't realize yours, but it won't always get you out of things, especially against anyone decent

but not playing well, making mistakes, they all build up and eventually you lose

skilled players could probably turn the entire game around, either through knowing where and when to play next, and how to use the pieces they've lost or abandoned to save themselves and win the game, or maybe even find and play a divine move, but...

i can't learn how to do that by continuing to play and win against weaker opponents

i feel like i need to win against god himself if i want to feel like i'm truly capable of beating the universe

perfect moves, unforgiving, unrelenting, unbending... that is what i imagine to be life and god's play

and i want to beat him with my own power