LRRR ON EARTH on Nostr: Ooc: the last time I got to choose how I spent my time, I was in killer shape, I was ...
Ooc: the last time I got to choose how I spent my time, I was in killer shape, I was well rested, and I was a top student. I cooked meals for pleasure instead of subsistence. I read books. I had human friends who I saw several times a week. Then COVID and work and rugrats arrived as a combined paroxysm of life-fucking stress and suffering.
I thrived in *law school.* That's supposed to be the worst place (white collar professional category). There are days where I would gleefully burn all my possessions and walk through the roaring flames to go back to law school, a place where I averaged a panic attack a month.
That's not a good or healthy dream, right? Like, suburban mediocrity shouldn't be so alienating that a person trapped inside it would pine to relive the second-most stressful period of his life. There is so little support, so little human connection, so much atomized striving. I feel like I am succeeding at the one thing (work) that I need to succeed at and failing at everything else (family, friendship, health, rest, joy, community, etc.). This is no way to live. If I had a real choice, I would do things differently.
I thrived in *law school.* That's supposed to be the worst place (white collar professional category). There are days where I would gleefully burn all my possessions and walk through the roaring flames to go back to law school, a place where I averaged a panic attack a month.
That's not a good or healthy dream, right? Like, suburban mediocrity shouldn't be so alienating that a person trapped inside it would pine to relive the second-most stressful period of his life. There is so little support, so little human connection, so much atomized striving. I feel like I am succeeding at the one thing (work) that I need to succeed at and failing at everything else (family, friendship, health, rest, joy, community, etc.). This is no way to live. If I had a real choice, I would do things differently.