monikaco on Nostr: “That some attachments may not survive the choice for authenticity is one of the ...
“That some attachments may not survive the choice for authenticity is one of the most agonizing realizations one can come to.” — Gabor Maté
Yesterday, I made a thoughtful decision to cut ties with a very close friend of 30 years—a full Saturn return cycle. This isn’t new to me. Over the past four years, I’ve seen people leave my life without ever having the courage to come and talk to me. They might ask questions, but when I express my thoughts, they decide I’m some kind of threat.
The irony is, all I’m doing is questioning the narrative. I’m not telling anyone how to live or think. I’m simply asking, “Have you considered this?” or “What about that?” If someone takes that as an imposition or feels triggered, that’s on them.
Losing followers, by contrast, isn’t as important to me. I’m not doing what I do to gain followers. I appreciate the likes, sure, but they don’t change my behavior. My integrity doesn’t depend on how I’m being received. In fact, that’s the whole point of this post—if my actions were based on being accepted, I would be holding onto friendships out of fear. I’d be showing a version of myself that fits others’ expectations, rather than my true self.
There’s some sadness when a long-term friend leaves, but I always make space for that. Afterward, I ask myself: Is it worth reconnecting? Most times, the answer is no. I’d rather stay true to myself than lose who I am for the sake of keeping the peace. And I’m at peace with that.
Staying authentic might cost me relationships, but I’d rather be real than live behind a persona for the sake of being liked.
If you want to know more about this, I actually wrote an article in my book about how it feels to lose friends at this stage in life.
#Authenticity #TrueSelf #SelfGrowth #LettingGo #staytrue #programmed #coffeechain
Yesterday, I made a thoughtful decision to cut ties with a very close friend of 30 years—a full Saturn return cycle. This isn’t new to me. Over the past four years, I’ve seen people leave my life without ever having the courage to come and talk to me. They might ask questions, but when I express my thoughts, they decide I’m some kind of threat.
The irony is, all I’m doing is questioning the narrative. I’m not telling anyone how to live or think. I’m simply asking, “Have you considered this?” or “What about that?” If someone takes that as an imposition or feels triggered, that’s on them.
Losing followers, by contrast, isn’t as important to me. I’m not doing what I do to gain followers. I appreciate the likes, sure, but they don’t change my behavior. My integrity doesn’t depend on how I’m being received. In fact, that’s the whole point of this post—if my actions were based on being accepted, I would be holding onto friendships out of fear. I’d be showing a version of myself that fits others’ expectations, rather than my true self.
There’s some sadness when a long-term friend leaves, but I always make space for that. Afterward, I ask myself: Is it worth reconnecting? Most times, the answer is no. I’d rather stay true to myself than lose who I am for the sake of keeping the peace. And I’m at peace with that.
Staying authentic might cost me relationships, but I’d rather be real than live behind a persona for the sake of being liked.
If you want to know more about this, I actually wrote an article in my book about how it feels to lose friends at this stage in life.
#Authenticity #TrueSelf #SelfGrowth #LettingGo #staytrue #programmed #coffeechain