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I’m an alpha male, and I like to park my gas car in spots with electric vehicle chargers to make a point.
Last week, I was in a parking garage and saw a fantastic spot with a charging station marked “for EVs only.” Naturally, I pulled in and parked. As I walked towards the elevator, a 2022 Chevy Bolt screeched to a halt in front of me, and a weak-looking man rolled down the window and began speaking to me.
“Excuse me, you know that spot’s for EVs only, right? I’m gonna need you to move your SUV so I can park there,” he said, speaking loudly over the Taylor Swift track playing from his radio. I’m usually a pretty polite guy, but I couldn’t help myself that day. I told him to get bent and walked past. As I called the elevator, I heard his car door open and light footsteps feverishly approaching me.
“Excuse me, SIR, I was not joking around. My car is about to run out of charge, and that spot is NOT for people like you!” he exclaimed. I fired back, “People like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
I sized up the man and determined he couldn’t weigh more than 145 lbs, so while I wasn’t particularly concerned about a physical confrontation, I was annoyed he was wasting my time.
I stepped towards him, and he said, “I’m not afraid of you and your big car. You don’t intimidate me just because you’re bigger, stronger, and more traditionally handsome than…” He stopped and began to quiver as I put my finger in his chest. “Look here, son, I am an alpha male, and I park where I please. You will have to find somewhere else to park your tin can because I’ve got a table of guys waiting for me in that Hooters across the street, and those ice-cold domestic beers aren’t going to drink themselves,” I said.
By now, several cars were backed up behind the Chevy Bolt, idling in the middle of the aisle with the driver-side door wide open. The other drivers were getting impatient and had begun to ask what the holdup was. It was at that moment an alarm sounded from inside his little car, and he immediately sprinted toward it and started shouting in distress.
It turns out the battery had died in the time he took making his brave little stand, and now, he was the subject of the entire garage’s ire.
I entered the elevator with a satisfied chuckle and was greeted by a fetching Hooters girl on her way to work. She told me she had seen and heard everything and was very impressed. She hated EV-only parking spots as much as I did and agreed that I was in the right. She told me that Yuenglings for my table were on her, and she’d make sure our wings were extra hot.
I couldn’t help but smile as the elevator descended. An alpha male always comes out on top.
Last week, I was in a parking garage and saw a fantastic spot with a charging station marked “for EVs only.” Naturally, I pulled in and parked. As I walked towards the elevator, a 2022 Chevy Bolt screeched to a halt in front of me, and a weak-looking man rolled down the window and began speaking to me.
“Excuse me, you know that spot’s for EVs only, right? I’m gonna need you to move your SUV so I can park there,” he said, speaking loudly over the Taylor Swift track playing from his radio. I’m usually a pretty polite guy, but I couldn’t help myself that day. I told him to get bent and walked past. As I called the elevator, I heard his car door open and light footsteps feverishly approaching me.
“Excuse me, SIR, I was not joking around. My car is about to run out of charge, and that spot is NOT for people like you!” he exclaimed. I fired back, “People like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
I sized up the man and determined he couldn’t weigh more than 145 lbs, so while I wasn’t particularly concerned about a physical confrontation, I was annoyed he was wasting my time.
I stepped towards him, and he said, “I’m not afraid of you and your big car. You don’t intimidate me just because you’re bigger, stronger, and more traditionally handsome than…” He stopped and began to quiver as I put my finger in his chest. “Look here, son, I am an alpha male, and I park where I please. You will have to find somewhere else to park your tin can because I’ve got a table of guys waiting for me in that Hooters across the street, and those ice-cold domestic beers aren’t going to drink themselves,” I said.
By now, several cars were backed up behind the Chevy Bolt, idling in the middle of the aisle with the driver-side door wide open. The other drivers were getting impatient and had begun to ask what the holdup was. It was at that moment an alarm sounded from inside his little car, and he immediately sprinted toward it and started shouting in distress.
It turns out the battery had died in the time he took making his brave little stand, and now, he was the subject of the entire garage’s ire.
I entered the elevator with a satisfied chuckle and was greeted by a fetching Hooters girl on her way to work. She told me she had seen and heard everything and was very impressed. She hated EV-only parking spots as much as I did and agreed that I was in the right. She told me that Yuenglings for my table were on her, and she’d make sure our wings were extra hot.
I couldn’t help but smile as the elevator descended. An alpha male always comes out on top.