Scoundrel on Nostr: Okay, okay, you got me. I don't agree with you 100% about porn, but I promise you ...
Okay, okay, you got me. I don't agree with you 100% about porn, but I promise you that's not related to the point I'm trying to make.
As I said before, people can change their behavior. Humans have free will, so my point is that if someone's partner starts behaving poorly, (in whatever way one may care about) you can't blame that person for not waiting long enough to commit. You could wait for an entire decade and there is nothing removing your partner's capacity to sit in front of PornHub eating a carton of icecream on your wedding day.
The only thing you can criticize someone for is never addressing the issue. If someone is a complete slob before one commits to the relationship then oneself is to blame for not breaking it off. If one doesn't establish their expectations for the relationship and the REASONS for those expectations then that's on oneself. And if one actively endoreses poor behavior then oneself is blameworthy regardless of if one's partner exhibits those behaviors.
But even if you address the issue at every opportunity, your partner will always have the capacity for doing the wrong thing, and it isn't your fault.
As I said before, people can change their behavior. Humans have free will, so my point is that if someone's partner starts behaving poorly, (in whatever way one may care about) you can't blame that person for not waiting long enough to commit. You could wait for an entire decade and there is nothing removing your partner's capacity to sit in front of PornHub eating a carton of icecream on your wedding day.
The only thing you can criticize someone for is never addressing the issue. If someone is a complete slob before one commits to the relationship then oneself is to blame for not breaking it off. If one doesn't establish their expectations for the relationship and the REASONS for those expectations then that's on oneself. And if one actively endoreses poor behavior then oneself is blameworthy regardless of if one's partner exhibits those behaviors.
But even if you address the issue at every opportunity, your partner will always have the capacity for doing the wrong thing, and it isn't your fault.