LynAlden on Nostr: I've had a similar outcome as mandrik, but with a somewhat different context. It's ...
I've had a similar outcome as mandrik, but with a somewhat different context. It's something I still think about a lot.
When I was an engineer/manager, I worked in person, and had a great social group there. After I left it, I became inherently remote-work based in my home office, which has a lot of advantages but also some social isolation-related challenges.
I then gradually drifted away from work-friends I knew for a decade. Between work and family, we just gradually could barely find time for a group lunch anymore. Actually it was more on their side than mine; they have longer commutes, children, etc.
And my US family is small and dispersed around the country. So aside from my husband, a lot of my social interaction is online and at events within the past few post-covid years. The big exception is the part of the year I spend in Egypt, where I am surrounded by in-person family and friends every day, but have less overall productivity (bad internet for starters, problematic time zone, plus it's also vacation time and social time).
And the most notable part of each year is when I come back to the US first to take care of things here, and my husband is still in Egypt for another month to finish taking care of things there, where I risk turning into a solo cat lady.
So that makes me really focus on genuine internet dynamics, treating people online similarly to how I treat them in real life, building real connections there, going to events to meet my "tribe" despite the travel hassle, etc.
It also has prioritized having children to me recently. I've been focusing on work, focusing on elder care, etc. Due to my starting point, I have been in the position of having to support a parent and then in-laws since my 20s, while also being a workaholic to reach the positions I've gotten to. For years I was simply too busy for anything else, but increasingly the next generation is an element of life I think about a lot.
When I was an engineer/manager, I worked in person, and had a great social group there. After I left it, I became inherently remote-work based in my home office, which has a lot of advantages but also some social isolation-related challenges.
I then gradually drifted away from work-friends I knew for a decade. Between work and family, we just gradually could barely find time for a group lunch anymore. Actually it was more on their side than mine; they have longer commutes, children, etc.
And my US family is small and dispersed around the country. So aside from my husband, a lot of my social interaction is online and at events within the past few post-covid years. The big exception is the part of the year I spend in Egypt, where I am surrounded by in-person family and friends every day, but have less overall productivity (bad internet for starters, problematic time zone, plus it's also vacation time and social time).
And the most notable part of each year is when I come back to the US first to take care of things here, and my husband is still in Egypt for another month to finish taking care of things there, where I risk turning into a solo cat lady.
So that makes me really focus on genuine internet dynamics, treating people online similarly to how I treat them in real life, building real connections there, going to events to meet my "tribe" despite the travel hassle, etc.
It also has prioritized having children to me recently. I've been focusing on work, focusing on elder care, etc. Due to my starting point, I have been in the position of having to support a parent and then in-laws since my 20s, while also being a workaholic to reach the positions I've gotten to. For years I was simply too busy for anything else, but increasingly the next generation is an element of life I think about a lot.
quoting note19mw…n0c7I have a feeling I'll be ghosting a lot of friends in the coming years.
Spending time around bitcoiners makes me question old friendships. I have friends I've known for 20+ years who haven't offered any real value in a long time.
That sounds awful to say, but they are so caught up in their dead end jobs and other bullshit. No care for anything else. They think the MSM and government are the best sources of truth. No interest in growing, or in self reflection.
Any attempt at deep, meaningful conversation basically turn into the "That's crazy. Catch the game last night?" meme. It's frustrating.
I'm still processing my feelings on this. I haven't had a close "crew" of buddies since high school. Even that was superficial. I've always been that guy people hang out with, but never a part of the "inner circle" or whatever.
I'm not saying this to garner empathy. I'm the complete opposite of depressed, and I don't stay up at night wishing I was one of the cool kids. I like having a close family, a wife that's my best friend, and a couple others I can talk to about anything and everything in a meaningful way.
I'm just wondering if it's time to drop some baggage.
Nostr is a great place for long-ish form writing. I love privacy, but I also love sharing the human experience. I spent the first 30 years of life keeping everything bottled up inside.
Never going back to that.