Kevin Davy on Nostr: ActuallyAutistic group This may be a bit of a weird one, but it essentially falls ...
ActuallyAutistic group (nprofile…67cd)
This may be a bit of a weird one, but it essentially falls into an #AskingAutistics question.
I was brought up in the sixties and seventies, by parents who had endured and learnt from the war and post-war austerity. As a family, we lived off my father's government pay cheque, which whilst not bad, wasn't great. So we were never rolling in money. My parents also had, which was common back then, a great aversion to borrowing money and any sort of credit. So, basically, if we couldn't afford it, we didn't get it. Holidays were always camping holidays. Dad went to the car sales when ever he needed to replace our only family car. The only new car we ever had, was because he won it in a competition and even then he drove it into the ground. Well, technically, after years and years of faithful service and maintaining and repairing it himself, he drove it into the back of a van going down a really icy hill late one night. But, you get what I mean. I was basically brought up to value money and be prudent.
The consequence of this, is that I tend to not spend money for the sake of it. I carefully weigh all decisions against whether they are really necessary and whether I can afford it yet. If something is still essentially doing its job, even if far from perfectly, I too will continue to drive it into the ground, (although not into the back of a van yet), with much bodging, (highly temporary, Heath-Robinson type repairs) fixing, cursing and occasional sacrifice to the Elder Gods, before eventually and reluctantly, deeming it worthy of replacement.
However, when I do buy something, I rarely skimp on the cost. As is fairly common with us, I will spend hours researching what I want to buy. What bells and whistles I want on it and which product best fulfils my criteria. Price, within reason, I refuse to pay extra for the sake of a name, is not part of this equation. I also do like treating myself to the occasional shiny new toy. Like, this ThinkPad I am currently typing this out on, especially if I can see enough cause to do so.
But. If something is more speculative and the reason for purchasing it is more about simply treating myself, than a true functionality and a sense that it's adding to the value of what I would be doing with something else. In other words, if it's more of a, because I can and I want one, even though I'm not sure how much I'll use it. Then, no matter how much I can clearly afford it and that it's no big deal, I will always feel guilty about doing so.
So, this is what I am wondering. Whether this is my upbringing speaking. Whether I am just cursed to be as tight as a duck's arse and have to live with this. Or whether, this, like so much else, is an autism thing. Is this sort of reaction to treating ourselves for the sake of it, common? Even a, years of trauma induced low self-esteem, thing, common to us? In which case, can my irritating guilt finally have an answer.
#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic
This may be a bit of a weird one, but it essentially falls into an #AskingAutistics question.
I was brought up in the sixties and seventies, by parents who had endured and learnt from the war and post-war austerity. As a family, we lived off my father's government pay cheque, which whilst not bad, wasn't great. So we were never rolling in money. My parents also had, which was common back then, a great aversion to borrowing money and any sort of credit. So, basically, if we couldn't afford it, we didn't get it. Holidays were always camping holidays. Dad went to the car sales when ever he needed to replace our only family car. The only new car we ever had, was because he won it in a competition and even then he drove it into the ground. Well, technically, after years and years of faithful service and maintaining and repairing it himself, he drove it into the back of a van going down a really icy hill late one night. But, you get what I mean. I was basically brought up to value money and be prudent.
The consequence of this, is that I tend to not spend money for the sake of it. I carefully weigh all decisions against whether they are really necessary and whether I can afford it yet. If something is still essentially doing its job, even if far from perfectly, I too will continue to drive it into the ground, (although not into the back of a van yet), with much bodging, (highly temporary, Heath-Robinson type repairs) fixing, cursing and occasional sacrifice to the Elder Gods, before eventually and reluctantly, deeming it worthy of replacement.
However, when I do buy something, I rarely skimp on the cost. As is fairly common with us, I will spend hours researching what I want to buy. What bells and whistles I want on it and which product best fulfils my criteria. Price, within reason, I refuse to pay extra for the sake of a name, is not part of this equation. I also do like treating myself to the occasional shiny new toy. Like, this ThinkPad I am currently typing this out on, especially if I can see enough cause to do so.
But. If something is more speculative and the reason for purchasing it is more about simply treating myself, than a true functionality and a sense that it's adding to the value of what I would be doing with something else. In other words, if it's more of a, because I can and I want one, even though I'm not sure how much I'll use it. Then, no matter how much I can clearly afford it and that it's no big deal, I will always feel guilty about doing so.
So, this is what I am wondering. Whether this is my upbringing speaking. Whether I am just cursed to be as tight as a duck's arse and have to live with this. Or whether, this, like so much else, is an autism thing. Is this sort of reaction to treating ourselves for the sake of it, common? Even a, years of trauma induced low self-esteem, thing, common to us? In which case, can my irritating guilt finally have an answer.
#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic