mleku on Nostr: i had dialed back my caffeine intake substantially in the last week and today i have ...

i had dialed back my caffeine intake substantially in the last week and today i have had 3.5 coffees, and i'm getting super anxious and people are asking me difficult questions that relate to their lack of thought about the subject they are asking me about (eg, why is a simple fuzzy matcther needed for comparing bodies of mostly machine generated, finite lists of things) and stuff like "why does this guy have three dangling accounts on linkedin (because i lost my google accounts and made new ones and they reflect three periods of job hunting where i needed to use linkedin and never used it while in the job)

so, idk what to say, it feels like the only option i have right at this moment is to rid my house of this horrid chemical because i feel like utter shit like i'm having to defend and explain everything about me that is unusual and extremely difficult shit i have had to deal with and i'm fucking 48 years old and unmarried and this fiat world done me a wrong lol

i'd be dead if i wasn't so tenacious and audacious at doing my own thing, like a stray cat, i am not normally socialized, i am odd, and sometimes unexpectedly viciously defending myself, because nobody else has helped me get through those obstacles and i've found my niche and it's been a really hard road for me