Meanwhile In Ohio... on Nostr: I'm going to respond from a bit of the amoeba perspective because I've felt myself ...
I'm going to respond from a bit of the amoeba perspective because I've felt myself becoming more and more like one, and I'm sure my experience isn't particularly unique.
I'm a middle-aged while male. I've been abandoned by family, society, and government. I will never have a wife or children; most of my family is dead, insane, or too far away; friends are few and far between (although the ones I have are close); relationships with neighbors are cursory; and I have absolutely zero influence on anything that happens in my community, state, or nation. I am a zero. When I die, my things will be taken out to a dumpster and as soon as I'm in the ground it will be as if I was never here. There may be a gap on the NCD timeline where my cringe used to be, but nobody will ever know what happened to me.
My job pays very well, but it's repetitive, monotonous, and when it's not boring, it's frustrating, And lots of jobs are probably like that, and we spend the majority of our waking hours in that state. Businesses run on fumes and any vacation time either means fear of losing a job, or double the work when you return. There's no escape, every day is so much like the day before it, and the day 100 days from now will be much like today. That's enough to make anyone into an amoeba on its own.
The only thing I look forward to is retirement, and even that'll probably be forced because I'll be unemployable at some point. I have no idea what I'll do with that time.
All the hobbies and activities I used to enjoy are now either too expensive to participate in, have been pozzed in one of a million ways, or I'm no longer physically capable of keeping up. It may just be a normal consequence of aging, but I'm much less able to put up with lousy people and bullshit than I was in the past, and that eliminates a lot of things.
So I'm dead inside. My life consists of running out the clock. The only thing that really exists is the moment. I don't want to be this way, but I am. And I think the amoebas are too, for specific reasons that may vary from mine, but for largely the same broad causes.
I've read here many times that it's not to anyone's credit to adapt to a sick society and become mentally ill themselves. These are the people who have adapted. It's a matter of survival.
I'm not writing this to get anyone's condolences for my personal state of things, but I thought it might resonate with some here and provide insight.
I'm a middle-aged while male. I've been abandoned by family, society, and government. I will never have a wife or children; most of my family is dead, insane, or too far away; friends are few and far between (although the ones I have are close); relationships with neighbors are cursory; and I have absolutely zero influence on anything that happens in my community, state, or nation. I am a zero. When I die, my things will be taken out to a dumpster and as soon as I'm in the ground it will be as if I was never here. There may be a gap on the NCD timeline where my cringe used to be, but nobody will ever know what happened to me.
My job pays very well, but it's repetitive, monotonous, and when it's not boring, it's frustrating, And lots of jobs are probably like that, and we spend the majority of our waking hours in that state. Businesses run on fumes and any vacation time either means fear of losing a job, or double the work when you return. There's no escape, every day is so much like the day before it, and the day 100 days from now will be much like today. That's enough to make anyone into an amoeba on its own.
The only thing I look forward to is retirement, and even that'll probably be forced because I'll be unemployable at some point. I have no idea what I'll do with that time.
All the hobbies and activities I used to enjoy are now either too expensive to participate in, have been pozzed in one of a million ways, or I'm no longer physically capable of keeping up. It may just be a normal consequence of aging, but I'm much less able to put up with lousy people and bullshit than I was in the past, and that eliminates a lot of things.
So I'm dead inside. My life consists of running out the clock. The only thing that really exists is the moment. I don't want to be this way, but I am. And I think the amoebas are too, for specific reasons that may vary from mine, but for largely the same broad causes.
I've read here many times that it's not to anyone's credit to adapt to a sick society and become mentally ill themselves. These are the people who have adapted. It's a matter of survival.
I'm not writing this to get anyone's condolences for my personal state of things, but I thought it might resonate with some here and provide insight.