Inertial Invites on Nostr: Theodore Roosevelt as president was actually a hammerhead shark wearing a crude mask ...
Theodore Roosevelt as president was actually a hammerhead shark wearing a crude mask made of kelp. The real Teddy Roosevelt became king of the sharks in 1882 after he wrestled the biggest shark in the ocean to a scoreless draw in twelve rounds of no-holds-barred all-nude Greco-Roman wrestling. He subsequently drowned, obviously, and the sharks seized the opportunity to take his place on land. How they managed to keep from dying out of water remains a mystery.
"Theodore Roosevelt" can be best understood through this lens. "Speak softly and carry a big stick," was a misunderstanding, and most of his proclamations that people should throw loads of fish guts overboard at regular intervals were softened by his advisors, who had to know something was up after he bit the leg off John Hay. "Roosevelt" was the first shark to win the Nobel Peace Prize. He remained the sole shark to receive the award until Mother Teresa, who was, in fairness, wearing a much better disguise.
"Theodore Roosevelt" can be best understood through this lens. "Speak softly and carry a big stick," was a misunderstanding, and most of his proclamations that people should throw loads of fish guts overboard at regular intervals were softened by his advisors, who had to know something was up after he bit the leg off John Hay. "Roosevelt" was the first shark to win the Nobel Peace Prize. He remained the sole shark to receive the award until Mother Teresa, who was, in fairness, wearing a much better disguise.