That Frisian Girl-ish on Nostr: Hi, dear #babyTrans. This is a small piece of advice from a grumpy crone to make your ...
Hi, dear #babyTrans. This is a small piece of advice from a grumpy crone to make your #transition go easier on you, and keep some of the brain weasels down better.
Transition is the process in which you go from the idea everybody, including you, has what you should be to what you actually are. It's tempting to think you got the big ones well in hand once your egg cracks, and from here it's just implementing measures on a well known trajectory. Chronicle it all, make it public for all the others, because you've got this! Give others hope that are stuck. Write your diary for all to see as things happen, because you found something wonderful, and want to share it with the world!
Now, yes, I agree. Chronicle, journal, keep every scrap.
But also, no, I absolutely disagree. Don't make it all public just yet.
Transition is a process. You will keep figuring stuff out. You will run into unexpected difficulties. And then things become unexpectedly disheartening for others, and for you, since you've been so sure, but now... this. And "this" can be a lot of things, not just external. You don't want to deal with all that while being a very public figure. It's easier to admit that, no, this is a dead end, I need to backtrack and rethink. Or that the "big one" you thought you cracked is actually just the start of a whole flood that is much more daunting. It's tough to keep up a positive, inspiring public image while you wrestle with doubt, guilt, and in way too many cases, grief.
I don't mean "don't share". But be judicious about what. And then, when things have quietened down a bit, you can still return to your log of bits and pieces. Decide what's important, what seemed important but wasn't, and you have a very much better view of the actual red threads of what you've been up to. You can give a much better account now, with the benefit of hindsight, and you avoided all the pressure of wrestling with yourself while being on stage, on air, and constantly questioned by an audience.
It's a time of vulnerability. Treat it as such. Give yourself the space to retreat. Give yourself the possibility... to fail some of the early benchmarks that where made for you by a person who didn't know you yet.
This isn't because I can't hear it anymore. Because I can, with a sigh. This is for your benefit. Become that butterfly. Have a chrysalis stage. #trans
Transition is the process in which you go from the idea everybody, including you, has what you should be to what you actually are. It's tempting to think you got the big ones well in hand once your egg cracks, and from here it's just implementing measures on a well known trajectory. Chronicle it all, make it public for all the others, because you've got this! Give others hope that are stuck. Write your diary for all to see as things happen, because you found something wonderful, and want to share it with the world!
Now, yes, I agree. Chronicle, journal, keep every scrap.
But also, no, I absolutely disagree. Don't make it all public just yet.
Transition is a process. You will keep figuring stuff out. You will run into unexpected difficulties. And then things become unexpectedly disheartening for others, and for you, since you've been so sure, but now... this. And "this" can be a lot of things, not just external. You don't want to deal with all that while being a very public figure. It's easier to admit that, no, this is a dead end, I need to backtrack and rethink. Or that the "big one" you thought you cracked is actually just the start of a whole flood that is much more daunting. It's tough to keep up a positive, inspiring public image while you wrestle with doubt, guilt, and in way too many cases, grief.
I don't mean "don't share". But be judicious about what. And then, when things have quietened down a bit, you can still return to your log of bits and pieces. Decide what's important, what seemed important but wasn't, and you have a very much better view of the actual red threads of what you've been up to. You can give a much better account now, with the benefit of hindsight, and you avoided all the pressure of wrestling with yourself while being on stage, on air, and constantly questioned by an audience.
It's a time of vulnerability. Treat it as such. Give yourself the space to retreat. Give yourself the possibility... to fail some of the early benchmarks that where made for you by a person who didn't know you yet.
This isn't because I can't hear it anymore. Because I can, with a sigh. This is for your benefit. Become that butterfly. Have a chrysalis stage. #trans