ØtherwØrlder on Nostr: The common bias that you reach your thirties and then you should "have your life ...
The common bias that you reach your thirties and then you should "have your life figured out by now" and have everything together and have all the people around you you will ever know and all the projects you will ever work on set and all the ideas you will ever explore done, is just a hold over from a world far less precarious and for more regimented than ours (which itself was also no good), and even then it was really just a story for heterosexuals.
It helps no one to imagine this is the reality, mostly just perpetuates judgment and loneliness. The blame for burnout gets displaced onto a moral judgment of character, and mutual avoidance becomes the rule.
I've just had too many conversations with thirty somethings or older over the past few years about shame and avoiding social contact for not having things together, and its deeply sad and absurd.
It helps no one to imagine this is the reality, mostly just perpetuates judgment and loneliness. The blame for burnout gets displaced onto a moral judgment of character, and mutual avoidance becomes the rule.
I've just had too many conversations with thirty somethings or older over the past few years about shame and avoiding social contact for not having things together, and its deeply sad and absurd.