Erika š on Nostr: I am frustrated. I wrote a long reply to a post and deleted it instead. My reply ...
I am frustrated. I wrote a long reply to a post and deleted it instead. My reply would not have helped because my frustration would hijack the message. It might hijack it here.
I'm seeing a lot of posts about people migrating (or not) and their knowledge of fedi. The main questions being:
- How can someone not understand you need to flee <big bad corporation>?
- How can the requirement to choose a server be confusing?
- And the one that pisses me off: are people just dumb/stupid/<something else rude>?
The answer is no, people are very fucking smart and your lack of understanding is not their problem. (And this post isn't about genuine questions where someone is politely attempting to understand. Key here is politeness. There can be productive conversation around how to introduce a new thing to people who don't know said new thing.)
I see this ultimately as a social cognition issue and frustration directed badly. Your priorities, experiences, knowledge... it's not universal. Understanding others is a mental exercise we should all do once in a while. But I also understand many people cannot think like someone whose knowledge is not their knowledge. I understand this very well because it's part of what keeps me employed (front end QAs, in particular, need solid and exercised social cognition to be as effective as they can). But ohhhh everything that is holy, this is the most frustrating thing. These posts are othering and dismissive. They create a bit of a toxic in-group or support some of that "if I post something that needs to be corrected then I'll get a lot of engagement" thing. When I read these posts I hear the voice of politicians I dislike who sidestep the issue to ask ridiculous questions or say ridiculous unsupported things.
I think I can empathise with the poster's frustration. Not being able to be understood quickly by another person can suck when it feels so clear to you. It's the pivoting to being rude with a false pretense of wanting to understand that irks me. That doesn't help anyone. Work on yourself instead of putting others down.
(I'm probably leaning incorrectly on the term social cognition. Apologies to psychology and psychologists.)
I'm seeing a lot of posts about people migrating (or not) and their knowledge of fedi. The main questions being:
- How can someone not understand you need to flee <big bad corporation>?
- How can the requirement to choose a server be confusing?
- And the one that pisses me off: are people just dumb/stupid/<something else rude>?
The answer is no, people are very fucking smart and your lack of understanding is not their problem. (And this post isn't about genuine questions where someone is politely attempting to understand. Key here is politeness. There can be productive conversation around how to introduce a new thing to people who don't know said new thing.)
I see this ultimately as a social cognition issue and frustration directed badly. Your priorities, experiences, knowledge... it's not universal. Understanding others is a mental exercise we should all do once in a while. But I also understand many people cannot think like someone whose knowledge is not their knowledge. I understand this very well because it's part of what keeps me employed (front end QAs, in particular, need solid and exercised social cognition to be as effective as they can). But ohhhh everything that is holy, this is the most frustrating thing. These posts are othering and dismissive. They create a bit of a toxic in-group or support some of that "if I post something that needs to be corrected then I'll get a lot of engagement" thing. When I read these posts I hear the voice of politicians I dislike who sidestep the issue to ask ridiculous questions or say ridiculous unsupported things.
I think I can empathise with the poster's frustration. Not being able to be understood quickly by another person can suck when it feels so clear to you. It's the pivoting to being rude with a false pretense of wanting to understand that irks me. That doesn't help anyone. Work on yourself instead of putting others down.
(I'm probably leaning incorrectly on the term social cognition. Apologies to psychology and psychologists.)