Wendy Palmer on Nostr: #EngenderedWriting 69. Is jealousy a gender role in your stories? Does it affect one ...
#EngenderedWriting 69. Is jealousy a gender role in your stories? Does it affect one gender or certain sexual preferences?
In my own stories, I don’t treat jealousy as gendered. (Though I am writing mostly m/m romances, so it’s almost always men being jealous, if I use it at all)
But overall I think it is *deeply* gendered, in society and in fiction, in that (in the romance genre in particular, especially in the more old-fashioned variety) jealousy is interpreted almost uniformly as negative if a woman displays it — it’s a particular trait of any rivals for the love interest. The lead woman can feel a bit jealous…but not too much! In real life, women are called clingy or obsessive or catty etc if they display jealousy.
Whereas — especially in those older romances — the leading man displaying really quite aggressive and controlling levels of jealousy can be held up as a sign of wild love and desire (rather than insecurity, lack of trust, and a massive red flag).
I’ve known women IRL appear to enjoy their partner (or ex-partner’s) jealousy, presumably because of this deep-seated idea that it makes them obviously desirable — but if they knew of a woman behaving that way (borderline stalker behaviour), they’d be the first to call her out 🤷♀️
Jealousy is, ah, not my favourite trope, but more on that in the next prompt 😃
In my own stories, I don’t treat jealousy as gendered. (Though I am writing mostly m/m romances, so it’s almost always men being jealous, if I use it at all)
But overall I think it is *deeply* gendered, in society and in fiction, in that (in the romance genre in particular, especially in the more old-fashioned variety) jealousy is interpreted almost uniformly as negative if a woman displays it — it’s a particular trait of any rivals for the love interest. The lead woman can feel a bit jealous…but not too much! In real life, women are called clingy or obsessive or catty etc if they display jealousy.
Whereas — especially in those older romances — the leading man displaying really quite aggressive and controlling levels of jealousy can be held up as a sign of wild love and desire (rather than insecurity, lack of trust, and a massive red flag).
I’ve known women IRL appear to enjoy their partner (or ex-partner’s) jealousy, presumably because of this deep-seated idea that it makes them obviously desirable — but if they knew of a woman behaving that way (borderline stalker behaviour), they’d be the first to call her out 🤷♀️
Jealousy is, ah, not my favourite trope, but more on that in the next prompt 😃