asyncmind on Nostr: Once upon a time in the bustling streets of London, Arun, an immigrant programmer, ...
Once upon a time in the bustling streets of London, Arun, an immigrant programmer, sat slumped at the bar of a dimly lit pub. His career had gone from "promising" to "borderline tragic." The startup he worked for had run out of funding, his project was stuck in perpetual "technical debt," and the only thing keeping him afloat was the faint hope that he wouldn't get retrenched before his next rent check was due.
He stared into his pint of lager like it was a portal to a better life. Across the bar stood Craig, a bartender, polishing a glass with the air of someone who had heard every life story imaginable.
"Rough day, mate?" Craig asked, sliding another pint Arun's way.
"Rough life, more like," Arun groaned. "Tech's a bloody wasteland. I'm a glorified Jira monkey drowning in meetings about Kubernetes migrations no one understands."
Craig smirked. "Kube-what?"
"Kubernetes! You know, containers, microservices, all that nonsense." Arun waved his hand dismissively. "I've worked on everything, man. Mainframes, Java applets, the whole LAMP stack, then DevOps, CI/CD, now serverless. I’ve been through five digital transformations. Do you know what digital transformation means? It means you’re about to be fired for some 22-year-old who knows React."
Craig nodded with faux seriousness. "Sounds dreadful. Go on."
And Arun did go on. For two hours, he unloaded every soul-crushing project he'd ever worked on, every buggy deployment, every clueless middle manager who thought GitHub was a coffee shop. By the time Arun finished, his pint was gone, and Craig was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"You know," Craig said, leaning forward, "you should write a book. Call it 'Diary of a Dying Dev.' Could be a bestseller."
Arun laughed bitterly. "Yeah, sure. Maybe when I'm living under a bridge."
---
A few months later, Arun’s life had only spiraled further. He’d lost his job, burned through his savings, and was seriously considering moving back in with his parents. He shuffled into the same pub for a cheap drink, only to be greeted by a familiar face—Craig. But something was... different.
Craig wasn’t behind the bar anymore. Instead, he was dressed in a sleek, tailored suit, sporting a watch that probably cost more than Arun’s entire wardrobe.
"Craig?" Arun asked, blinking in disbelief.
"Arun!" Craig exclaimed, clapping him on the back. "Fancy seeing you here, mate."
"What the hell happened to you? Did you win the lottery?"
Craig grinned. "Nah, got myself a gig as a tech recruiter. Turns out all those drunken stories you lot tell me about your jobs paid off. I know just enough buzzwords to sound credible in an interview."
Arun’s jaw dropped. "You’re a recruiter now?"
"Top dog, mate," Craig said smugly. "I've placed more developers in three months than you can shake a Docker container at."
Arun’s eyes lit up. "So... you think you could, uh, hook me up? I could really use a break."
Craig hesitated, rubbing his chin dramatically. "Ah, see, here's the thing. I remember how you feel about Kubernetes and all that DevOps malarkey."
"Yeah, I hate it," Arun admitted.
"Well, bad news, mate," Craig said, spreading his arms. "That’s exactly what every corporation is hiring for. And they’re the ones funding this fine suit." He tugged on his lapel with a grin.
Arun’s face fell. "You’re kidding me."
"Sorry, mate," Craig said, shrugging. "But hey, if you ever change your mind about those Kubernetes migrations, give me a ring. Cheers!" And with that, Craig waltzed out of the pub, leaving Arun to stare into his pint once again.
#kubershtties
He stared into his pint of lager like it was a portal to a better life. Across the bar stood Craig, a bartender, polishing a glass with the air of someone who had heard every life story imaginable.
"Rough day, mate?" Craig asked, sliding another pint Arun's way.
"Rough life, more like," Arun groaned. "Tech's a bloody wasteland. I'm a glorified Jira monkey drowning in meetings about Kubernetes migrations no one understands."
Craig smirked. "Kube-what?"
"Kubernetes! You know, containers, microservices, all that nonsense." Arun waved his hand dismissively. "I've worked on everything, man. Mainframes, Java applets, the whole LAMP stack, then DevOps, CI/CD, now serverless. I’ve been through five digital transformations. Do you know what digital transformation means? It means you’re about to be fired for some 22-year-old who knows React."
Craig nodded with faux seriousness. "Sounds dreadful. Go on."
And Arun did go on. For two hours, he unloaded every soul-crushing project he'd ever worked on, every buggy deployment, every clueless middle manager who thought GitHub was a coffee shop. By the time Arun finished, his pint was gone, and Craig was grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"You know," Craig said, leaning forward, "you should write a book. Call it 'Diary of a Dying Dev.' Could be a bestseller."
Arun laughed bitterly. "Yeah, sure. Maybe when I'm living under a bridge."
---
A few months later, Arun’s life had only spiraled further. He’d lost his job, burned through his savings, and was seriously considering moving back in with his parents. He shuffled into the same pub for a cheap drink, only to be greeted by a familiar face—Craig. But something was... different.
Craig wasn’t behind the bar anymore. Instead, he was dressed in a sleek, tailored suit, sporting a watch that probably cost more than Arun’s entire wardrobe.
"Craig?" Arun asked, blinking in disbelief.
"Arun!" Craig exclaimed, clapping him on the back. "Fancy seeing you here, mate."
"What the hell happened to you? Did you win the lottery?"
Craig grinned. "Nah, got myself a gig as a tech recruiter. Turns out all those drunken stories you lot tell me about your jobs paid off. I know just enough buzzwords to sound credible in an interview."
Arun’s jaw dropped. "You’re a recruiter now?"
"Top dog, mate," Craig said smugly. "I've placed more developers in three months than you can shake a Docker container at."
Arun’s eyes lit up. "So... you think you could, uh, hook me up? I could really use a break."
Craig hesitated, rubbing his chin dramatically. "Ah, see, here's the thing. I remember how you feel about Kubernetes and all that DevOps malarkey."
"Yeah, I hate it," Arun admitted.
"Well, bad news, mate," Craig said, spreading his arms. "That’s exactly what every corporation is hiring for. And they’re the ones funding this fine suit." He tugged on his lapel with a grin.
Arun’s face fell. "You’re kidding me."
"Sorry, mate," Craig said, shrugging. "But hey, if you ever change your mind about those Kubernetes migrations, give me a ring. Cheers!" And with that, Craig waltzed out of the pub, leaving Arun to stare into his pint once again.
#kubershtties