Velocirooster adminensis :bc: on Nostr: Hello welcome to St. Peter the Apostle Parish—wedding or funeral? Of course right ...

Hello welcome to St. Peter the Apostle Parish—wedding or funeral? Of course right this way sir—are you with the bride or groom? Oh I see you're in the wedding well that explains the ceremonial breeches—oh no they are quite becoming sir you have the calves for them I assure you—and that riding crop—I trust you'll be keeping the groom in line ha ha ha we like have fun here at St. Peter the Apostle Parish but not an ungodly amount if you know what I mean—no I suppose I don't either yes of course sir right this way the groom has been expecting you—no need to be alarmed he's just going to brush your hair a little I promise it won't hurt a bit—we want to look our best for the big day don't we? Of course we do now I'm just going to strap this bag to your mouth—woah now woah it's full of tasty oats—woah that's it—you've got legs like cannonballs and you're gonna fly out of that gate—look at me now look me in the eye—you're gonna do what you were born to do you're gonna pierce the sky with your brilliance—a flash of pure gold scintillating through the dingy detritus of this broken world—you're gonna show them all you're gonna bleed fire from the navel of the universe and set the souls of honest men to tremble—that's it eat your oats—you're gonna make everyone here at St. Peter the Apostle Parish so very proud