watts_bar on Nostr: Before I reply to your questions directly, I want you to understand that I made many ...
Before I reply to your questions directly, I want you to understand that I made many of the same mistakes. I’m just old and have experience. Another mistake I made, while looking for answers to similar questions was implement the solutions to rapidly. Slow and gentle change with loved ones is far more effective than decisive edicts. Remember, you’re supposed to have a long time preference.
“Could you elaborate? In what way?” People have to find their own path in order to be successful. Remember that old saying. “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
If you don’t let them fail and struggle a little bit, then you’re creating weak people. One time I took my kids on a day hike and “accidentally“ forgot the lunch we packed on the kitchen counter. They were young teenagers, and it was age-appropriate for them to learn what it was like to be a little bit hungry. When we got to our turnaround point where we planned on stopping and having lunch, there was no option but to hike back without food. I’m not saying don’t feed your kids. This is a one time example of creating a small struggle that also helps build empathy for people that don’t have enough to eat.
Top next topic. Open source is a great way to make money. I like to use WordPress for an example. Free, open source software that has an entire marketplace built around plug-in’s generating income for developers. If you don’t have a path to generating income, then you have a hobby not a business. Business owners also create flexibility, so if the path they envision doesn’t work out quite as they imagined, they can pivot to a profitable path.
“Ideals are definitely at odds with expectations, but those expectations are from my family, whom I love. How does one neglect expectations of their family?”
Believe it or not, this is the easiest one. Let’s use the minivan payment as an example. Once that minivan is paid off are you going to keep driving it and use the money you were using for a car payment to stack sats or are you going to buy a new vehicle and stay in fiat bondage? Knowing full well that repairing an older car is always cheaper than buying a new one you are going to want to stack sats, but maybe your wife wants a new car or your other family wants you to keep up appearances. There is nothing stopping your wife from earning the money to get her own new car (letting your loved ones struggle a little bit) and you probably won’t get much argument if you say something like “ I’m worried about our future and I think it’s more important to save and invest right now than to bring on a new expense. I won’t stand in your way if you want a new car and I’ll support you anyway I can, but we need to think about the future, to make sure our family is secure and you and the kids are well taken care of if anything ever happens to one of us.” Same thing with other family members, “saving and investing to create a secure future for my wife and children will make me happier right now than keeping up appearances.“ if they really love you, they want you to do what makes you happy and they certainly can’t object to wanting a secure future for your family. Don’t expect the pressure to stop. However, by stating your desires and goals, you created a healthy boundary.
I don’t know you or your family. I’m just a stranger on the Internet. These are just some examples of how I approach things differently to come from a place of love and harmony instead of conflict. Create your own interpretations of my examples. Don’t be afraid to fail, shift your approach and try again.
“Could you elaborate? In what way?” People have to find their own path in order to be successful. Remember that old saying. “Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And, weak men create hard times.”
If you don’t let them fail and struggle a little bit, then you’re creating weak people. One time I took my kids on a day hike and “accidentally“ forgot the lunch we packed on the kitchen counter. They were young teenagers, and it was age-appropriate for them to learn what it was like to be a little bit hungry. When we got to our turnaround point where we planned on stopping and having lunch, there was no option but to hike back without food. I’m not saying don’t feed your kids. This is a one time example of creating a small struggle that also helps build empathy for people that don’t have enough to eat.
Top next topic. Open source is a great way to make money. I like to use WordPress for an example. Free, open source software that has an entire marketplace built around plug-in’s generating income for developers. If you don’t have a path to generating income, then you have a hobby not a business. Business owners also create flexibility, so if the path they envision doesn’t work out quite as they imagined, they can pivot to a profitable path.
“Ideals are definitely at odds with expectations, but those expectations are from my family, whom I love. How does one neglect expectations of their family?”
Believe it or not, this is the easiest one. Let’s use the minivan payment as an example. Once that minivan is paid off are you going to keep driving it and use the money you were using for a car payment to stack sats or are you going to buy a new vehicle and stay in fiat bondage? Knowing full well that repairing an older car is always cheaper than buying a new one you are going to want to stack sats, but maybe your wife wants a new car or your other family wants you to keep up appearances. There is nothing stopping your wife from earning the money to get her own new car (letting your loved ones struggle a little bit) and you probably won’t get much argument if you say something like “ I’m worried about our future and I think it’s more important to save and invest right now than to bring on a new expense. I won’t stand in your way if you want a new car and I’ll support you anyway I can, but we need to think about the future, to make sure our family is secure and you and the kids are well taken care of if anything ever happens to one of us.” Same thing with other family members, “saving and investing to create a secure future for my wife and children will make me happier right now than keeping up appearances.“ if they really love you, they want you to do what makes you happy and they certainly can’t object to wanting a secure future for your family. Don’t expect the pressure to stop. However, by stating your desires and goals, you created a healthy boundary.
I don’t know you or your family. I’m just a stranger on the Internet. These are just some examples of how I approach things differently to come from a place of love and harmony instead of conflict. Create your own interpretations of my examples. Don’t be afraid to fail, shift your approach and try again.