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seekingfam / seekingfam
npub15ms…47hn
2024-09-03 17:55:45
in reply to nevent1q…wd9d

seekingfam on Nostr: hey HODL, sorry for the delay. i took a long weekend away for labor day. my longest ...

hey HODL, sorry for the delay. i took a long weekend away for labor day. my longest relationship was 3 years. then two others that were about a year, and most about 4 to 6 months. nothing has been crazy long-term but i dont think i self-sabotage. (maybe i don't see how i am doing it to myself... but i asked my buddy and he doesn't see it either).

i probably ended things 50% of the time, she ended things 40% of the time, and maybe 10% of the time it was both of us saying "this isn't working". from my end, it's usually something that makes me second guess her character or her as an eventual mother. (one girl, for example, hit the DOOR CLOSE button repeatedly when a mom and 2 kids was trying to get on the elevator. i was shocked.)

i didn't feel this way with the ones that ended it with me. i didn't love them nor want to start a family with them, so it wasn't nearly as painful a breakup. one of the year-long relationships was also long distance (the only other long distance one i had). it ended because neither of us wanted to move the 2 hours to the other person's city. i told myself after that i wouldn't do long distance, but then this girl came along.

i think i need to shake things up. hence this trip and me contemplating selling my house / moving cities / quitting... etc.

def feel lost and sad and trying to get myself over the hump. thanks for the reply.
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npub15msrnqjh35z3304r9v2h2sxdxh0fsldsd800994xrtj83mgn6juqdq47hn