Cait the Encourageable on Nostr: So...I have some thoughts about this topic. I did transition in 1992, when things ...
So...I have some thoughts about this topic. I did transition in 1992, when things were very different.
One of the things I regret about transitioning when I did, is that I got co-opted (coercively) into helping propagate the myth that all trans people were women, that all knew when they were little, all that bullshit that Blanchard and his ilk created. The stereotypical trans woman.
I am that woman. All of those stereotypes apply to me.
This is not coincidence. This is due to the direct and explicit efforts of the doctors to *create* this narrative, by viciously gatekeeping access to medical transition from anyone who didn't fit into it.
And yeah, I have some regret over that. I hate that I contributed, even coercively, in creating a narrative that caused so much damage to so many trans people.
I cannot count the number of trans friends I've made in the last year and a half who say, "Hey, I looked at what being trans was, and it didn't fit me, so I didn't transition."
I feel the weight of that sometimes. The untold number of us who must not have made it after facing that stereotype.
I feel used. I feel rage toward Blanchard and Zucker, who both worked out of the clinic I transitioned at (perforce; there were no other non-DIY options).
And this is the part where I feel an urge to apologize to y'all. I'm not going to, because I recognize that's a pathological response to this violence done to me, and to you.
But I think I will always have regret that I couldn't hold on longer, until that narrative no longer was extant. Probably I wouldn't have made it. In my dark moments, I wonder if that wouldn't have been better for the community. Not because I don't recognize my own value. Because I hate having contributed to this.
It's complex, for sure.
One of the things I regret about transitioning when I did, is that I got co-opted (coercively) into helping propagate the myth that all trans people were women, that all knew when they were little, all that bullshit that Blanchard and his ilk created. The stereotypical trans woman.
I am that woman. All of those stereotypes apply to me.
This is not coincidence. This is due to the direct and explicit efforts of the doctors to *create* this narrative, by viciously gatekeeping access to medical transition from anyone who didn't fit into it.
And yeah, I have some regret over that. I hate that I contributed, even coercively, in creating a narrative that caused so much damage to so many trans people.
I cannot count the number of trans friends I've made in the last year and a half who say, "Hey, I looked at what being trans was, and it didn't fit me, so I didn't transition."
I feel the weight of that sometimes. The untold number of us who must not have made it after facing that stereotype.
I feel used. I feel rage toward Blanchard and Zucker, who both worked out of the clinic I transitioned at (perforce; there were no other non-DIY options).
And this is the part where I feel an urge to apologize to y'all. I'm not going to, because I recognize that's a pathological response to this violence done to me, and to you.
But I think I will always have regret that I couldn't hold on longer, until that narrative no longer was extant. Probably I wouldn't have made it. In my dark moments, I wonder if that wouldn't have been better for the community. Not because I don't recognize my own value. Because I hate having contributed to this.
It's complex, for sure.