HeavenlyPossum on Nostr: Once, when I was in my teens, I was talking to someone who was Christian, and I ...
Once, when I was in my teens, I was talking to someone who was Christian, and I badgered her about her faith. I don’t know why she put up with my shit, but she did, and I smugly deconstructed her religion until all she could say was “it’s just faith, I just believe.”
I made her cry. She tried to hide it but I saw. I felt deep shame then and will remember that moment for the rest of my life. I remain deeply ashamed of that moment, that attitude, of the sort of person I was trying to be. Of making myself feel better about myself by making someone else feel bad about themselves.
What good did I do her? How did I make her life better in any way? I didn’t. I made it worse.
I wish I could say I stopped being a condescending asshole about religion in that moment but it took me years more to learn the lesson I should have learned in that moment—I have no business believing I know another person as well as they know themselves.
(It is no surprise that I am an anarchist. I believe in *radical humility.* I have no business telling anyone else how to live.)
She was an immensely smart person. She was perfectly capable of interrogating her own beliefs herself. I did her no good by hounding her.
To anyone who thinks they’re going to persuade me into being an anti-theist, I assure you there is nothing you can say that will counterbalance the shame I feel for that moment. I learned my lesson.
I made her cry. She tried to hide it but I saw. I felt deep shame then and will remember that moment for the rest of my life. I remain deeply ashamed of that moment, that attitude, of the sort of person I was trying to be. Of making myself feel better about myself by making someone else feel bad about themselves.
What good did I do her? How did I make her life better in any way? I didn’t. I made it worse.
I wish I could say I stopped being a condescending asshole about religion in that moment but it took me years more to learn the lesson I should have learned in that moment—I have no business believing I know another person as well as they know themselves.
(It is no surprise that I am an anarchist. I believe in *radical humility.* I have no business telling anyone else how to live.)
She was an immensely smart person. She was perfectly capable of interrogating her own beliefs herself. I did her no good by hounding her.
To anyone who thinks they’re going to persuade me into being an anti-theist, I assure you there is nothing you can say that will counterbalance the shame I feel for that moment. I learned my lesson.