Outwit Playlist on Nostr: Hello Internet. I am Outwit Playlist. Nice to meet you. I am here because I suffer ...
Hello Internet. I am Outwit Playlist. Nice to meet you. I am here because I suffer from an non suppressible urge to write that keeps itching me while at the same time there’s a strong reluctance to set myself out to the actual real public. Using my real name, my real voice, my real face, all of that requires an amount of confidence I do not have anymore. Writing is easier. So much easier. Maybe that’s why I do it: Because it is easier than talking. And things need to be said.
I didn’t have a real plan when I created this identity. I just set up a life system, clicked around and looked if I could set up an account on one of the new twitters. And surprisingly it worked. So I kept clicking around, went to the other twitters and apparently that also worked. I didn’t really plan to get onto social media but it is so tempting. Doom-scrolling is like fucking heroin. This shit is dangerous. So yeah, probably it is a good idea to regulate my social media usage by creating some unnecessary obstacles for myself to make it harder to get lost in there. And not installing any software is a great obstacle. Not using social media on my phone is great but not enough. I need to entirely separate it from my daily life and have the possibility to look it away. This shit is addictive. Memes are bad. I mean, memes are good, but it’s too easy to get lost in them. Hell, the most dangerous thing about Tiktok is not that it is spying on people for Peking or that it manipulates voters in a foreign interest or something but that is is so incredibly addictive. It is so fun. So it is probably for the best that I couldn’t create an account there without installing an app on a smartphone.
Keeping up a pseudonym only offers some amount of privacy, depending on how much information one provides under that pseudonym. In order to keep my pseudonym reasonably secure, I have decided to limit myself to some restrictions regarding what I share:
No pictures. Not worth the hustle.
No names. No locations.
I write in English.
Now that I have listed it that seems like really not much. Is there anything else I am missing that might be too obvious? Of course there is not much too hide here anyway: Whoever has talked to me for longer than a few minutes will probably sooner or later realize it’s me if they read this. Language patterns are very unique and it is very hard to hide those. Also I don’t want to. I want to express myself. Share my thoughts. And play with language in the way that makes me unique because that is what this whole writing stuff is about, it is the desire to express the thing that makes me unique in words and preserve those and spread those in the hope that this will help a bit to cope with the whole the universe is very big and I am very tiny and not important at all bullshit. Expressing myself creates a feeling of purpose. And we all need that feeling of having a purpose. It is important to leave the bed. Without it one just stays in bed all day and asks themselves what they even should get up for anyway.
So that’s it. I need to hide myself behind some pseudonym to gain the confidence to express my true self. That’s some weird meta psychological tech dystopia shit, isn’t it? What am I scared of? Well, repression, violence, discrimination. Crazy shit is happening out there. All the time. And I am a pretty weak and lazy person. Also there’s obviously some mental health shit going on here, right? I am clearly unreasonably scared of some things, the reason for that probably being bad experiences that resulted in a generally good mechanism overreaching and making me anxious in a way that might technically be clinically relevant. Yet at the same time it is also clear that there are actual dangers that the majority of people is not scared off enough. And it is very hard to tell those apart, which fears are reasonable and which aren’t, especially not without sharing them. That’s it, what I am trying to do here: I need to share my fears. So, thank you for reading me, I guess.
I didn’t have a real plan when I created this identity. I just set up a life system, clicked around and looked if I could set up an account on one of the new twitters. And surprisingly it worked. So I kept clicking around, went to the other twitters and apparently that also worked. I didn’t really plan to get onto social media but it is so tempting. Doom-scrolling is like fucking heroin. This shit is dangerous. So yeah, probably it is a good idea to regulate my social media usage by creating some unnecessary obstacles for myself to make it harder to get lost in there. And not installing any software is a great obstacle. Not using social media on my phone is great but not enough. I need to entirely separate it from my daily life and have the possibility to look it away. This shit is addictive. Memes are bad. I mean, memes are good, but it’s too easy to get lost in them. Hell, the most dangerous thing about Tiktok is not that it is spying on people for Peking or that it manipulates voters in a foreign interest or something but that is is so incredibly addictive. It is so fun. So it is probably for the best that I couldn’t create an account there without installing an app on a smartphone.
Keeping up a pseudonym only offers some amount of privacy, depending on how much information one provides under that pseudonym. In order to keep my pseudonym reasonably secure, I have decided to limit myself to some restrictions regarding what I share:
No pictures. Not worth the hustle.
No names. No locations.
I write in English.
Now that I have listed it that seems like really not much. Is there anything else I am missing that might be too obvious? Of course there is not much too hide here anyway: Whoever has talked to me for longer than a few minutes will probably sooner or later realize it’s me if they read this. Language patterns are very unique and it is very hard to hide those. Also I don’t want to. I want to express myself. Share my thoughts. And play with language in the way that makes me unique because that is what this whole writing stuff is about, it is the desire to express the thing that makes me unique in words and preserve those and spread those in the hope that this will help a bit to cope with the whole the universe is very big and I am very tiny and not important at all bullshit. Expressing myself creates a feeling of purpose. And we all need that feeling of having a purpose. It is important to leave the bed. Without it one just stays in bed all day and asks themselves what they even should get up for anyway.
So that’s it. I need to hide myself behind some pseudonym to gain the confidence to express my true self. That’s some weird meta psychological tech dystopia shit, isn’t it? What am I scared of? Well, repression, violence, discrimination. Crazy shit is happening out there. All the time. And I am a pretty weak and lazy person. Also there’s obviously some mental health shit going on here, right? I am clearly unreasonably scared of some things, the reason for that probably being bad experiences that resulted in a generally good mechanism overreaching and making me anxious in a way that might technically be clinically relevant. Yet at the same time it is also clear that there are actual dangers that the majority of people is not scared off enough. And it is very hard to tell those apart, which fears are reasonable and which aren’t, especially not without sharing them. That’s it, what I am trying to do here: I need to share my fears. So, thank you for reading me, I guess.