Red Rozenglass on Nostr: Shinmera I find it really hard to show any parts of my body beyond head, hands, and ...
Shinmera (nprofile…agan) I find it really hard to show any parts of my body beyond head, hands, and forearms, to anyone who's not close and trusted. I wore full-clothing whenever I went swimming for example, I like wearing collared shirts and closing top button to prevent my neck and upper chest from showing. I don't know why that is.
I was going to blame an extreme religious upbringing, but not all family members around me seem to suffer from this as much, and 10 years after I left my religion, I still don't feel okay with exposing myself. It is not a confidence issue either, I think, otherwise I would have cared more about showing to people closer to me.
My suspicion is that it's something about putting up a mask of perfect discipline to strangers, to make it less likely that they'd "fuck with me". Potentially related to growing up in an oppressive socialist government where people wore military uniforms to high-school; orderly clothing and uniforms portray this discipline, thus inspires some tinge of fear, while going around near-naked signals the opposite to most people; vulnerability.
It's confusing to me, and I don't know if I agree with my own opinions about this. But the repulsion and anxiety of exposure is a low-level physiological reaction in my body, not something on the conscious thought-level, so hard to change.
I was going to blame an extreme religious upbringing, but not all family members around me seem to suffer from this as much, and 10 years after I left my religion, I still don't feel okay with exposing myself. It is not a confidence issue either, I think, otherwise I would have cared more about showing to people closer to me.
My suspicion is that it's something about putting up a mask of perfect discipline to strangers, to make it less likely that they'd "fuck with me". Potentially related to growing up in an oppressive socialist government where people wore military uniforms to high-school; orderly clothing and uniforms portray this discipline, thus inspires some tinge of fear, while going around near-naked signals the opposite to most people; vulnerability.
It's confusing to me, and I don't know if I agree with my own opinions about this. But the repulsion and anxiety of exposure is a low-level physiological reaction in my body, not something on the conscious thought-level, so hard to change.