lauren on Nostr: I have chills head to toe. Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s ...
I have chills head to toe. Thank you so much for sharing your story! It’s incredible! It’s incredible how He works. Years ago I didn’t know what I believed in..
It was Summer 2019. It was the end of the rope for me. I had this fire in my belly that divine intervention was leading me to the South, and although I didn’t know why back then, I knew I was meant to go. And so I did. I was offered a job and several weeks later I packed up everything and I went. Alone. For the first time in my life I was in foreign territory. No family, no friends, kids had to finish out the school year back home, so no more yelling in the background, it was radio silent. Just me, and this vast wilderness of inner turmoil. I had to face my inner demons, And when I did, I did alone without armor and I fell. I fell hard.. I was angry with myself, with “the universe” or a higher power (didn’t know what I believed at the time), I was lonely, and my heart was shredded on the floor. I couldn’t wrap my head around how I got there.. I knew I was supposed to, but it wasn’t the feeling of the glorious pull I thought it would have been. Eventually depression and solitude took its toll. One night in late November 2019 I was at an all time low. I found myself for the first time in years on my knees.. I said God, if there is a God, take my pain…. My heart couldn’t take anymore. Earlier that night I had ordered grocery delivery and amidst my pleas with asking God to reveal himself, my doorbell rang interrupting my self pity. It was the groceries. As I finished carrying in the first few bags, I heard a kitten meowing.. “that’s strange” I remember thinking. I didn’t have any pets at the time. I heard it again.. I looked down and there in the middle of my kitchen was this tiny, hungry, beat up cat. I had no clue how he got in there, there was no way he could have gotten in. It was the coldest night of the year, but I knew. I knew right then in that moment who sent him and I decided right then and there that I had a choice. I laughed out loud and remembered saying “I see you, God.. I see you.” That was the first time I learned that he knows our hearts. It was the first time I felt as though he heard was real and he heard me. The kitten was badly hurt, and I knew he needed me. It’s funny.. I truly believe that the cat knew I needed him more than he needed me. I named him sir Sherwin Parker (think British accent). Sherwin and I hit it off instantly, and we were inseparable. As the months passed and my heart healed I felt the pull.. drawn to teachings. God works in mysterious ways.
It was Summer 2019. It was the end of the rope for me. I had this fire in my belly that divine intervention was leading me to the South, and although I didn’t know why back then, I knew I was meant to go. And so I did. I was offered a job and several weeks later I packed up everything and I went. Alone. For the first time in my life I was in foreign territory. No family, no friends, kids had to finish out the school year back home, so no more yelling in the background, it was radio silent. Just me, and this vast wilderness of inner turmoil. I had to face my inner demons, And when I did, I did alone without armor and I fell. I fell hard.. I was angry with myself, with “the universe” or a higher power (didn’t know what I believed at the time), I was lonely, and my heart was shredded on the floor. I couldn’t wrap my head around how I got there.. I knew I was supposed to, but it wasn’t the feeling of the glorious pull I thought it would have been. Eventually depression and solitude took its toll. One night in late November 2019 I was at an all time low. I found myself for the first time in years on my knees.. I said God, if there is a God, take my pain…. My heart couldn’t take anymore. Earlier that night I had ordered grocery delivery and amidst my pleas with asking God to reveal himself, my doorbell rang interrupting my self pity. It was the groceries. As I finished carrying in the first few bags, I heard a kitten meowing.. “that’s strange” I remember thinking. I didn’t have any pets at the time. I heard it again.. I looked down and there in the middle of my kitchen was this tiny, hungry, beat up cat. I had no clue how he got in there, there was no way he could have gotten in. It was the coldest night of the year, but I knew. I knew right then in that moment who sent him and I decided right then and there that I had a choice. I laughed out loud and remembered saying “I see you, God.. I see you.” That was the first time I learned that he knows our hearts. It was the first time I felt as though he heard was real and he heard me. The kitten was badly hurt, and I knew he needed me. It’s funny.. I truly believe that the cat knew I needed him more than he needed me. I named him sir Sherwin Parker (think British accent). Sherwin and I hit it off instantly, and we were inseparable. As the months passed and my heart healed I felt the pull.. drawn to teachings. God works in mysterious ways.