moonchildwander on Nostr: The Spark ⚡️ of Life It could have been different. He could have died in my arms ...
The Spark ⚡️ of Life
It could have been different. He could have died in my arms that night and then what? I would have been permanently scarred mentally for the rest of my life. I would eventually have lost my mind simply by having to bear the future in nightmare mode. His death in my arms would have been my own yet his victory over death became my victory over insanity. I was at the peak of my crown chakra opening and I had been given several spiritual gifts only bestowed to dedicated mystics. Granted I was only 20 years old yet I considered myself an old soul and I had done more by twenty than most had done by fifty. I started partying early around twelve to be precise. By fourteen I had been plucked and by seventeen I had surpassed a double digit body count full of one night stands with drunken high school boys. At nineteen I became a celibate and practiced abstinence as a zen Buddhist discovering Christianity. Typical nineties girl I was a product of the times: a liberated female bodhisattva in an urban rat race. Then I smelled the putrid scent of society and disappeared for twenty long years. Now I’m back. Like Zeina I come to reclaim what’s mine before I let go of everything and disappear into the woods for good. I still have that spark and zest for life only I don’t have the wits to face the world head-on and so I retreat like a defeatist. Sometimes people wonder where I get all of my energy from yet right now I’m more depleted than ever so whatever energy I used it’s gone and now I’m broken and back to square one where this all started at twelve going on thirteen. It was 1989 and Sinead O’Connor had came out with her hit single, “Nothing Compares to You.” It was transfixing. It was poetry. It was soul. Keep the campfire burning, you never know who’s looking for a drum circle in the middle of the night. The campfire is where we find the sparks of life.
It could have been different. He could have died in my arms that night and then what? I would have been permanently scarred mentally for the rest of my life. I would eventually have lost my mind simply by having to bear the future in nightmare mode. His death in my arms would have been my own yet his victory over death became my victory over insanity. I was at the peak of my crown chakra opening and I had been given several spiritual gifts only bestowed to dedicated mystics. Granted I was only 20 years old yet I considered myself an old soul and I had done more by twenty than most had done by fifty. I started partying early around twelve to be precise. By fourteen I had been plucked and by seventeen I had surpassed a double digit body count full of one night stands with drunken high school boys. At nineteen I became a celibate and practiced abstinence as a zen Buddhist discovering Christianity. Typical nineties girl I was a product of the times: a liberated female bodhisattva in an urban rat race. Then I smelled the putrid scent of society and disappeared for twenty long years. Now I’m back. Like Zeina I come to reclaim what’s mine before I let go of everything and disappear into the woods for good. I still have that spark and zest for life only I don’t have the wits to face the world head-on and so I retreat like a defeatist. Sometimes people wonder where I get all of my energy from yet right now I’m more depleted than ever so whatever energy I used it’s gone and now I’m broken and back to square one where this all started at twelve going on thirteen. It was 1989 and Sinead O’Connor had came out with her hit single, “Nothing Compares to You.” It was transfixing. It was poetry. It was soul. Keep the campfire burning, you never know who’s looking for a drum circle in the middle of the night. The campfire is where we find the sparks of life.