Evil Is Itinerant on Nostr: Ok, here's the correct way to pronounce "Worcestershire sauce." 1. Limber up your ...
Ok, here's the correct way to pronounce "Worcestershire sauce."
1. Limber up your mouth by doing a few tongue twisters. I recommend "aluminium linolineum" or "James Clerk Maxwell."
2. With your mouth pronouncing a "W" sound, voice an "L" sound.
3. The "O" is properly pronounced with a slight dipthong into an "OO" sound. Try it now. Say, "Wuh-oo" without a glottal stop between vowel sounds. Let your lips glide between them.
4. The first "R" is silent. Practice not saying some "R"s. "I parked the car in Harvard yard." "Ask not what your country can do for you." "Red rolling rounders rip righteously through the ruins." "Qzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzx." Etc.
5. The "C" is also silent, but you don't need to practice that. In fact, you've never actually said a "C" sound. You've only ever said "K," "S," or "CH." Did I just blow your mind?
6. The "E" is silent too. I'm starting to wonder if the English had a surplus of letters they needed to get rid of and just started shoving them into words. It is, however, customary to pause for a moment when not pronouncing the "E" to silently remember Queen Elizabeth.
7. The "ST" is also silent.
8. No, but seriously, you do pronounce the "ST." Say it strongly, as this is the anchor of the word. Without a strong "ST" Worcestershire falls apart into two pieces, neither of which have any pronunciation. The British will be able to tell if you've failed to say the "ST" with sufficient vigor. That's how you can test whether a person is really British or just pretending. But be careful. The Irish become irrationally angry if you pronounce the "ST" with the proper amount of plosive enthusiasm, and they have a history of shillelagh violence to fall back on.
9. By this point, you will have forgotten exactly where in the word you are. You'll want to finish strong though, so make a choice. It will be incorrect regardless of what you do. Maybe you'll finish off with "esther?" Or how about "chive?" Frankly, you're doing just fine sweetie.
10. Whatever you do, do not pronounce it "Wôřçëßțėřśhîrę" as that will summon the Great Old One from His slumber deep in the vats in the abandoned basement of the Lee and Perrins company. Now you know the terrible secret of Worcestershire's amazing taste: the blood of a dead God. Woe, woe to us all!
11. It's spelled "sauce" but it's actually pronounced "throatwobbler mangrove."
1. Limber up your mouth by doing a few tongue twisters. I recommend "aluminium linolineum" or "James Clerk Maxwell."
2. With your mouth pronouncing a "W" sound, voice an "L" sound.
3. The "O" is properly pronounced with a slight dipthong into an "OO" sound. Try it now. Say, "Wuh-oo" without a glottal stop between vowel sounds. Let your lips glide between them.
4. The first "R" is silent. Practice not saying some "R"s. "I parked the car in Harvard yard." "Ask not what your country can do for you." "Red rolling rounders rip righteously through the ruins." "Qzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzx." Etc.
5. The "C" is also silent, but you don't need to practice that. In fact, you've never actually said a "C" sound. You've only ever said "K," "S," or "CH." Did I just blow your mind?
6. The "E" is silent too. I'm starting to wonder if the English had a surplus of letters they needed to get rid of and just started shoving them into words. It is, however, customary to pause for a moment when not pronouncing the "E" to silently remember Queen Elizabeth.
7. The "ST" is also silent.
8. No, but seriously, you do pronounce the "ST." Say it strongly, as this is the anchor of the word. Without a strong "ST" Worcestershire falls apart into two pieces, neither of which have any pronunciation. The British will be able to tell if you've failed to say the "ST" with sufficient vigor. That's how you can test whether a person is really British or just pretending. But be careful. The Irish become irrationally angry if you pronounce the "ST" with the proper amount of plosive enthusiasm, and they have a history of shillelagh violence to fall back on.
9. By this point, you will have forgotten exactly where in the word you are. You'll want to finish strong though, so make a choice. It will be incorrect regardless of what you do. Maybe you'll finish off with "esther?" Or how about "chive?" Frankly, you're doing just fine sweetie.
10. Whatever you do, do not pronounce it "Wôřçëßțėřśhîrę" as that will summon the Great Old One from His slumber deep in the vats in the abandoned basement of the Lee and Perrins company. Now you know the terrible secret of Worcestershire's amazing taste: the blood of a dead God. Woe, woe to us all!
11. It's spelled "sauce" but it's actually pronounced "throatwobbler mangrove."