MCBitcoin on Nostr: I was raised in the Mormon/LDS church. Being raised in a religious tradition gives ...
I was raised in the Mormon/LDS church. Being raised in a religious tradition gives answers to many of our toughest questions like why am I here? what is my purpose? what am I supposed to do with my life? etc.
Ever since I left the church early in my adulthood, I've lost something that religion provided for me, a feeling of certainty. I've never recovered. I feel lost most of the time. I find myself wandering around in the realm of ideas, and sometimes buying into this and that ideology at various times. After going through an initial euphoric phase of thinking I've found my new reason for being, I eventually rationalize myself out of it and start searching for something else.
I don't think that religion's are true reflections of reality, but I do think they are beneficial to those who truly buy in. This is true of cults too, the more you buy in, the more it seems to benefit you from a mental/spiritual aspect, even if it means you are less well off from a financial or individualistic freedom perspective.
Ultimately, I have no idea what is true anymore. I've even started to question history and science. Nothing seems real except for what's right in front of my face. I kinda wish that I had kept the faith of my upbringing. It would make life seem more simple. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed for me and I don't have any hope that I'll find another belief system that I could use to fill the hole in my life. I've entered the realm of absurdism and I've struggled to find a desire strong enough to make the struggle seem worth it. I have a wife, kids, good career, wealth, good health, etc. yet I find myself struggling to stay motivated to continue living the way I am. I want to just buy a motorcycle and ride away, wandering the highways for the remainder of my days.
Ever since I left the church early in my adulthood, I've lost something that religion provided for me, a feeling of certainty. I've never recovered. I feel lost most of the time. I find myself wandering around in the realm of ideas, and sometimes buying into this and that ideology at various times. After going through an initial euphoric phase of thinking I've found my new reason for being, I eventually rationalize myself out of it and start searching for something else.
I don't think that religion's are true reflections of reality, but I do think they are beneficial to those who truly buy in. This is true of cults too, the more you buy in, the more it seems to benefit you from a mental/spiritual aspect, even if it means you are less well off from a financial or individualistic freedom perspective.
Ultimately, I have no idea what is true anymore. I've even started to question history and science. Nothing seems real except for what's right in front of my face. I kinda wish that I had kept the faith of my upbringing. It would make life seem more simple. Unfortunately, that ship has sailed for me and I don't have any hope that I'll find another belief system that I could use to fill the hole in my life. I've entered the realm of absurdism and I've struggled to find a desire strong enough to make the struggle seem worth it. I have a wife, kids, good career, wealth, good health, etc. yet I find myself struggling to stay motivated to continue living the way I am. I want to just buy a motorcycle and ride away, wandering the highways for the remainder of my days.