Chris Trottier on Nostr: Released in 2016, Escape This is a precision platformer with perma death. It’s also ...
Released in 2016, Escape This is a precision platformer with perma death.
It’s also an abomination of game design, and I’m happy to never play it again. You might be wondering why I put myself through yet another shitty video game. It’s all very simple.
I bought these games and I’m trying to clear my backlog of games – which stretches back to 2015. Now at the time I purchased these games, they had good reviews. Little did I know that the reason for many of these “good” reviews has nothing to do with anyone playing the game.
Rather, they occur for one of two reasons:
They are achievement collectors on Steam who really just want to get the cards
They were paid money to leave a positive review
In Escape This’ case, it’s clear that it was achievement hunters delivering the “good” reviews. How do I know this? The reviewers say so themselves. They got five cards within the first five minutes of launching the game. Therefore, they’re happy.
You see, to some people, Steam is the video game. They’re just incidentally launching video games to play Steam.
But I’m not playing Steam. I’m playing Escape this. And Escape This is awful.
It’s got an awful UI/UX – and it doesn’t go away even after you launch the game. Look on the top right, and there’s something there. I don’t even know what it is, or what it does, or why the dev put it there.
As for control – good luck! They say it’s a precision platformer, but there’s no precision if you can’t even see what your cube is doing because the colour seeps outside of it, making it impossible to know the boundaries of what you’re trying to control. And don’t even try to finagle your way through controls anyway – it won’t matter – you’ll die.
Staring at these graphics for awhile, it gives me a big headache because everything is too bright even when I turn the gamma down. This is quite an accomplishment.
As for sound design… ha! There’s no effects. It’s just the same awful song looped over and over again.
Here’s the specs needed to run this game: AMD FX 6300 CPU (what?!), 500MB of RAM, 2GB of VRAM, and 60MB of space. While this game was made for Windows, it runs fine in Linux via Proton. It works on Steam Deck, that much I can tell you.
Escape This is a PC exclusive. It has not yet been released for mobile or console platforms.
There’s not micro-transactions nor DLC.
Four Winged Studio made Escape This. They’ve also released Flipped On, Alien Hostage, and Little World of Creatures.
On Steam, Escape This has a 62% positive rating based on 97 reviews. Again, do not believe any of the positive reviews – most of them are from achievement hunters. Everyone else who actually tries to play this game hates it with a burning passion.
I, for one, believe that belongs in the fiery pits of hell.
Escape this sells for C$1.29, but is on sale at a -50% discount (C$0.64). You might be tempted to buy this just to see if it’s as bad as I say it is. To that, I urge you to not bother. There’s no “so bad, it’s good” thing going on here. It’s just bad.
More to the point, please don’t encourage the developer to make any more games.
It’s also an abomination of game design, and I’m happy to never play it again. You might be wondering why I put myself through yet another shitty video game. It’s all very simple.
I bought these games and I’m trying to clear my backlog of games – which stretches back to 2015. Now at the time I purchased these games, they had good reviews. Little did I know that the reason for many of these “good” reviews has nothing to do with anyone playing the game.
Rather, they occur for one of two reasons:
They are achievement collectors on Steam who really just want to get the cards
They were paid money to leave a positive review
In Escape This’ case, it’s clear that it was achievement hunters delivering the “good” reviews. How do I know this? The reviewers say so themselves. They got five cards within the first five minutes of launching the game. Therefore, they’re happy.
You see, to some people, Steam is the video game. They’re just incidentally launching video games to play Steam.
But I’m not playing Steam. I’m playing Escape this. And Escape This is awful.
It’s got an awful UI/UX – and it doesn’t go away even after you launch the game. Look on the top right, and there’s something there. I don’t even know what it is, or what it does, or why the dev put it there.
As for control – good luck! They say it’s a precision platformer, but there’s no precision if you can’t even see what your cube is doing because the colour seeps outside of it, making it impossible to know the boundaries of what you’re trying to control. And don’t even try to finagle your way through controls anyway – it won’t matter – you’ll die.
Staring at these graphics for awhile, it gives me a big headache because everything is too bright even when I turn the gamma down. This is quite an accomplishment.
As for sound design… ha! There’s no effects. It’s just the same awful song looped over and over again.
Here’s the specs needed to run this game: AMD FX 6300 CPU (what?!), 500MB of RAM, 2GB of VRAM, and 60MB of space. While this game was made for Windows, it runs fine in Linux via Proton. It works on Steam Deck, that much I can tell you.
Escape This is a PC exclusive. It has not yet been released for mobile or console platforms.
There’s not micro-transactions nor DLC.
Four Winged Studio made Escape This. They’ve also released Flipped On, Alien Hostage, and Little World of Creatures.
On Steam, Escape This has a 62% positive rating based on 97 reviews. Again, do not believe any of the positive reviews – most of them are from achievement hunters. Everyone else who actually tries to play this game hates it with a burning passion.
I, for one, believe that belongs in the fiery pits of hell.
Escape this sells for C$1.29, but is on sale at a -50% discount (C$0.64). You might be tempted to buy this just to see if it’s as bad as I say it is. To that, I urge you to not bother. There’s no “so bad, it’s good” thing going on here. It’s just bad.
More to the point, please don’t encourage the developer to make any more games.